The Cure
by SmurfyFriend
Summary: Vanity has lived in fear of Tracker smurf his whole life... But will a mysterious illness aflicting his beloved cause him even more fear... Or even smurf him right over the edge? Slash warning. R&R!
1. Where it all began

No smurf is perfect. Every one of us has a flaw or imperfection that makes us genuinely unique. Brainy smurf can't see a smurf in front of his face without his glasses. Clumsy smurf's gargantuan feet make him trip all the time. Hefty is one of the biggest hotheads in the village. Greedy can never keep his paws off the pastries he bakes. Harmony is the most tone-deaf fellow in the entire village. There's days when Handy smurf should have been named "Hasty" Smurf. No smurf is perfect.

_No smurf except me, of course. _

_At least that's what I like to believe._

No. It's what I _KNOW_… I spent all the free time I could trying to improve my already incredible natural beauty. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't proud of how much time I spend and work I do to keep looking so good. Between three square (vegetarian, for me) meals a day, daily chores, and of course activities like Smurfball competitions and nature hikes, and the likes, most smurfs just scramble from one place to the next not having the time to care about their appearance.

I, on the other hand, wake up at exactly 5:55 every morning, then make a nice, hot cup of chamomile tea with lemon. Then from 6-7:30 I go through my strict ritual of daily skin care and beauty- smurfers. Then at 8, I meet the other smurfs for breakfast and daily life in the village begins again. Of course, throughout the day, I carry my mirror with me so I can make sure nothing has dirtied or afflicted my perfect face.

_And so I can keep a sharper eye out for HIM…_

Tracker smurf. And his bone-headed buddy Camper. For whatever reason, they've made tormenting me their _raison être …_ I never did anything to them… so why do they torture me daily? And _'torture_' is _NOT_ an exaggeration… Every single day, they do something to put me down, and just generally make me feel like dirt. No. lower than dirt. More like one of the bugs in the dirt. They've done almost everything from dunking me in the river in the middle of the spring thaw and stealing my towel to stripping me stark naked and tying me to the Great Oak. And nosmurf has the grapes to speak up... I've _TRIED_ telling Papa smurf about their torment. He helps when he can, but there there's only so much he really can do. He can't be around to catch them every hour of the day. Every day I've lived in this village, I've felt scared. Like _TODAY_ would finally be the day when Tracker would make good on his threats to snuff me out.

The only place I've ever felt truly safe- besides in Papa smurf's lab and my own home of course- is near Farmer smurf. Don't get me smurfed, I really, really loathe going out to the fields. They're smelly, hot, buggy, and I always end up leaving with something on my shoe.

Being with Farmer though… it's worth it. He's one of the only smurfs in the village that listens to my problems, and just lets me rant and rave for a little while. He's always there with friendly advice, a protective hug, and just a generally- protective demeanor.

Everything about Farmer is protective. He's about ten years older than I am-which translates into one human year. He's also very fit looking from all the physical labor he does. His skin is a dark, tanned blue as opposed to every other smurf's lighter cerulean skin. He has a heavy bumpkin accent that flows like honey in the middle of summer. He's just that sweet too. The smurflings just love him; they always go to him for advice when Papa smurf isn't around. He's really smurfed them under his wing over the years. Smurf, he's smurfs _EVERYONE_ under his wing. His open demeanor and friendly nature makes everyone love him.

_I don't know if I'd be alive today if it wasn't for Farmer smurf._

That day started like any other day. I woke up and followed my daily routine. I was feeling particularly smurfy today, so I decided to carry my lucky mirror. Every time I carry it, something good happens to me. Just holding it in my hand made me feel positive.

_Maybe_ _today's the day Tracker and Cam finally leave me alone…_ I thought. _Maybe today their torture will end._ I was feeling optimistic.

_I had no idea just how wrong I was._

The sounds of a triangle filled the quiet village. _Ah, breakfast time! _I thought, casting a glance at my reflection and admiring the fruits of my labor. _It'd be a crime to keep this beauty away from the world._

I locked the door behind me and hummed a little as I walked to Greedy's mess hall. The lazy throng of not yet awake smurfs mumbled amongst themselves, moseying along at their own lazy pace. "Ah, _bonjour, mon ami_." A thick French accent spoke from behind.

I turned around to see a still sleepy Painter smurf yawning and stretching. "Ah, Hello Painter," I smiled slowing my pace so he could keep up, "How did you sleep?"

Painter rubbed his eyes and yawned again "Terribly, Vanity. Ah, inspairation struck me, and ah could not fall asleep!" painter explained, smiling, remembering the thought in his head. "But alas! Once Ah put zit to ze canvas, Ah couldn't get zit to look like it did in mai head!" he shook his head, his smile turning into a frown.

"Well maybe you need a model," I said, casting a glance in my mirror, adjusting the flower on my hat, "I'd be more than happy to model for your painting."

Painter's expression lit up "You would? Ah, _merci, merci, mon ami_!" he said shaking my hand, "Aftair breakfast then, smurf on ovair to mai studio, and Ah shall paint ze mastairpizza!"

"Can do, Painter." I smiled, opening the door to the mess hall for him.

We went to the line, and waited for Greedy to give us our morning meal. I looked in my mirror, but not at my reflection. I was looking for Tracker and Cam. They appeared in the doorway, and I tried to make myself undetectable. To no avail. "Good morning, Vanity" Tracker said, approaching me, putting his hand on my back, menacingly, "we've got lotsa great stuff planned for you today."

I fixated my eyes on the ground, hoping that if I just ignored him, he'd go away. "Yeah," Cam added, "Papa smurf's still visiting Homnibus. He can't save you this time. _You're gonna wish you were never smurfed, Vanity_."

_It's too late for that_, I thought, _I already wish I was dead_. "Eh! Leave him alone, you- you- _Fils d'un schtrompf_!" Painter cursed at him in French.

Tracker shifted his poisonous glance from me to him, making Painter shift his own gaze. "You say something, ya foreign little weirdo?" he spat.

Painter said nothing, looking at me with his apologetic eyes. _I understand, Painter_. I silently said to him, _You're scared too_. "You'd better watch yoursmurf, Lady-smurf." Tracker spat at me, digging his fingernails into my bare back. "Cause if you're not careful, _I'll be puttin it in the ground_."

It took all my strength to keep from shaking and crying tears of fear. Painter put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, mumbling French curses under his breath as he led me out of the mess hall, in the direction of his studio. "_Schtroumpfer as hors et mourir_!" Painter spat, disdain and anger dripping from his voice, "Vanity, you are alright, no?"

I shook my head, finally letting the tears fall. "Why does he hate me so much…?" I asked weakly. "What did I ever do to him….? Why does he hate me for giving a smurf about my appearance…?"

Painter rubbed my shoulder with his hand, whispering words of comfort under his breath, "Painter… Can- can I confide in you with something?" I said, my voice shaking.

Painter nodded his head. "Oui. You are mai best friend, Vanity. You can tell me anyzing." He said with a slight smile.

"I- I've been thinking lately," I said, avoiding eye contact, "I've been thinking that maybe- maybe they're right…"

Painter stopped walking and looked at me with his head tilted slightly. "Maybe… maybe all I am is just some insignificant little lady-smurf that doesn't deserve to live…" I said, looking at my sorry reflection.

Painter tilted my face so I faced him. "No, _NO_, Vanity." He said, shaking his head. "You deserve life as much as zat smurfhole Tracker. Don't you _EVAIR_ let yourself think differanitly."

_A little late for that, Painter…_ He led me to his studio. "Here, Ah have ze crab appels lying around. Help yourself." He said, gesturing towards a bowl.

I took one, and bit into it hungrily. Something about Painter's studio made me feel safe… until Painter went on one of his rants, that is. He's my best friend. There's no question about that. But when his bipolar tendencies took over, his normally peaceful demeanor would make a complete 180 and he would go on a catharsis until somesmurf could calm him down. Although, sometimes it was just better to let him burn himself out, and he would calm himself down.

The temperamental artist mixed a few paints on his palate, and approached a canvas. He dipped his brush into the paints and put a few daubs on the canvas. He had a smile when he started. But the smile quickly faded and was replaced by a frown that dictated his next actions. "No, no! Zees will nevair do!" He scoffed, wiping away some of the oils with his red sleeve.

He daubed his brush in the paints and tried again, only producing the same results. "NO! Zat is not ze ansair ether!" he scoffed, wiping away the oils again.

He tried one final time, but instead, he took the canvas and tried to punch a hole right through it. "_NO, NO, NO! Zees will nevair smurf_!" he shouted.

I already knew what would happen next. I moved some of his more breakable artwork out of his range, and tried to calm him down "I think it looks positively smurfy, Painter." I said, looking at the canvas.

_Although I'm not sure what it is._ I stopped myself from saying. "No, no, Ah must get rid of it!" the artist said, throwing the canvas against the wall. "_ALL_ zees will not do!" he gestured to a set of smaller canvases next to him.

I rolled my eyes slightly. I already knew he wasn't going to listen. Once he goes off on a tantrum, there's no stopping him. As he was throwing his canvases and spilling his paints, I wrote him a note and stuck it on the door. I excused myself from his studio, and wandered towards Farmer's fields. I had to help with the harvest today anyways.

It was a long walk from Painter's studio, and I was still nervous about Tracker and Camper. But one way or another, I managed to get to Farmer's fields. He was out hoeing the fields, getting ready for the next season's harvest. Even from my distance, I could see the sweat glistening on his dark skin. He adjusted his straw hat and wiped the sweat out of his face. I'm not sure why, but I couldn't help but blush a little. Farmer noticed me, and wiped his hands on his olive green overalls. "Ha, Van'ty," He said, approaching me with his wide smile. "You're here t' work on th' harvest with me, right?"

I nodded a little. He furrowed his brows and tilted his head a little. "You okai, Van'ty?" He asked, "You look like somethin' Azrael dragged in."

I was a little taken aback by him noticing my distress. "Oh! Um- I'm just fine, Farmer." I said, looking at the ground. "Just- a rough morning… that's all."

"You sure you're okai?" Farmer said, nervously biting on the straw in his mouth.

"I'm just fine, Farmer" I said, plastering on a fake smile. "It's just been a long morning."

"Okai… Would you mind harvestin' th' ru'baga? Ah'm 'lergic." He said, getting me a pair of work gloves and chewing on the straw he held in his teeth.

I nodded again, and made my way to the plot of land where Farmer kept his rutabaga. After about an hour and a half of harvesting and tending, I heard a loud, childish wail. I looked up from my work, only to see a little pink-and-blue blur zip across the fields to Farmer. Sassette. She was crying little girl sobs and hugging Farmer tightly. "Aw, shugah, wha's wrong?" Farmer said, sitting on a nearby stump and holding the sniveling smurfling in his lap.

The smurfling sniffled and hiccupped a little as she spoke. "Sufferin' sassafras, Farmer! That- that- SNAPPY… He tripped me when we were playin' smurf tag, an' he wouldn't even help me up!" She sniveled, "An'- an'- an' now I gotta skinned knee and I ruined my favorite overalls!"

Farmer shushed her a little, and squeezed her reassuringly. "Aw, shugah. We kin fix your overalls." He said softly, his mellifluous voice soothing the crying child. "How 'bout you'n me go fix up yo' knee, then we'll go talk t' Greedy. Ah betcha he's gotta fresh batch'a smurfberry cookies in the oven." He added, moving some of the little girl smurfling's fiery red hair back behind her ear. "Now how bout a smile, shugah?"

She smiled a little and sniffled, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "There we go," Farmer said, smiling back at her, giving her one last squeeze and letting her off his lap. "There's th' pretty lil' smurflin' Ah know. Fo' a second, Ah couldn't find her."

He stood up and took her hand. I hoped my cheeks weren't nearly as red as they felt from watching such a tender scene. "Van'ty, kin you finish up th' harvest?" He asked.

I nodded my head with a smile. "Yeah. You go take care of Sassy there." I said, smiling a little at the red- haired smurfling.

The two of them left the fields, leaving me to finish up the work. At least the work I could do. I've always been a pretty slim smurf. No matter how much I eat. I worked for about two hours. I was taking a crop of ripe tomatoes up towards the silo in a wheelbarrow, and decided to take a short break. I sat on the stump and checked my reflection in the mirror. I KNEW I should've worn sunscreen, I thought. I was already starting to get a little sunburn on my cheeks.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of heavy hands on my shoulders. My heart just about stopped in my chest. My tail twitched like that of an agitated cat's. I angled my mirror upwards to look into the eyes belonging to he hands. Tracker. And Camper. "Hello, Vanity" Tracker said menacingly, staring me down from my reflection. "Didn't I warn you to watch yoursmurf?"

My knees shook a little on the stump. "P-please leave me alone, Tracker…" I half- whispered. "I-I just wanna do my chores, and go home."

"Yeah, right, Lady-smurf." He snarled, then cast a glance at my mirror. "Well, well! This is a nice mirror."

My heart sunk. "T-thank you…" I mumbled, shifting uncomfortably.

In a single swift movement, he yanked it from my hand. I couldn't help but yelp a little, but he paid no heed. He admired himself in the silver- edged mirror, but frowned. "Huh. I can't see myself." He said, still gazing into it. "Oh I know why…"

He leaned real close to me, and spat words of utter hatred into my ear "_It only shows worthless little lady-smurfs that don't deserve to live._"

I couldn't control my shaking anymore. Hot tears of fear spilled over my eyelashes and rolled down my cheeks. Tracker took the handle of the mirror and smashed the glass against the stump I was sitting on. I flinched and buried my head in my hands, wishing to be anywhere but there. "HEY! You smurfho's leave tha' boy alone!" I heard an angry southern drawl shout.

I looked up. Farmer was standing in front of me, his fists clenched and his cheeks red with anger. I rose from the stump and ran the short distance to Farmer, letting him wrap me in a protective embrace. I sobbed on his chest as he whispered some comforting words in my ear. "_Giddout'a my fields_." He snarled to Tracker and Camper, sounding the angriest I've ever heard him. "_G'WAN! GIT!_"

In a flourish of footsteps, I heard the two smurfs scramble from their spots and run from the fields. I continued to sob into the protective smurf's chest. He patted my back and spoke, his voice soft and low again. "_Shh…. Shh_… dun' worry, shugah." He said, "They're gone… Ah won' let them hurt you."

I pulled away from his grasp, blushing slightly, and nodded my head in silent thanks. I stumbled my way back to my home, feeling numb to my surroundings. Once I reached my own home, I unlocked the door and then locked it behind me. I flopped down on my bed and sobbed. I couldn't stand it anymore. This fear hanging over my head every day. The compulsive need to look over my shoulder. The constant anxiety I felt when I was alone. I just wanted it all to be over. I didn't want to always be living in fear.

Not quite knowing why, I slumped off my bed and sat at my desk. I took a piece of parchment and a feather quill pen and scrawled out some form of a letter. Feeling detached from my body, I walked outside my door. Time had passed and it was dusk. Most of the smurfs would probably be at dinner by then. And since it was still summer and it was a clear night, they would likely be eating in the village square instead of in the mess hall. I pinned the letter to my door, then slowly shuffled away. I HAD to pass through the village square to get to my destination. So I tried to make as little of a scene as I could. Papa smurf was finally back from his visit with Homnibus, and was sitting at his usual spot at the head of the table. "Ah, Vanity" he said, taking notice of me and rising from his place. "Where are you going? You haven't even eaten dinner yet."

I cracked a false half- smile. "I- I'm not very hungry, Papa smurf." I said, crossing my arms over my stomach, holding my sides nervously, "I'm going to go take a walk. I'll eat later."

Papa smurf's once happy expression shifted to that of concern. "Are you alright, my little smurf?" he asked, studying my features. "You seem troubled."

He can see right through me. I hated lying to him. I moved my hands from my sides and shrugged my shoulders, smiling as convincingly as I could. "I'm fine, Papa smurf. Smurfy even. Just- not hungry. I'm just going for a quick walk to clear my head."

He seemed to buy my fib. "Well… very well then." He said, still suspiciously studying my features. "But you should take somesmurf with you. It's dangerous to walk in the forest alone at night."

My eyes widened and I shook my head, waving my hands a little, defensively. "Oh, no, no, it's all right. I'm not going that deep into the forest" I said, "I won't be gone too long."

"Well… Very well…" Papa smurf said, starting to return to his place. "Just hurry back."

I nodded my head. I cast a quick glance to the tables and found Painter and Farmer, both sharing a look of concern and uncertainty. I shrugged my shoulder, and tried to muster a smile for them. Farmer shifted in his seat, somehow sensing my desolation. His eyes were fixated on me, genuine concern dominating his features. I broke myself from his gaze and stared at the ground, hoping my cheeks had lost their red hue, and hurried through the village square.

I walked past Handy's workshop, and soon passed Farmer's fields on the outskirts of the village. At one point, I could've sworn I heard footsteps behind me. I jerked my head around, feeling terrified, only to see nothing. I quickened my pace, and passed the smurfberry fields. I wanted to end this paranoia… This crippling fear of being tortured and murdered by smurfs that're supposed to be my own family…. I couldn't live with it any longer. It just had to end.

I soon found myself at the River Smurf, by the bridge and Handy smurf's waterwheel. I slowed my pace as I approached the mass of wood and nails. My footsteps were light as I approached the middle of it. I looked over the railing. The water looked swollen and deep, and it was moving fast. My heart was pounding loudly in my chest. I took a deep breath. I swung my leg over the edge of the railing, and held onto the edge. I moved my other leg over the wood barrier. I looked behind me at the rushing water. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as tears rolled down my cheeks.

_Goodbye, world. I- I- I'm sorry..._

Just as I let go of the railing and began to fall backwards, I felt a hand on mine. Confused, I opened my eyes. There, on the edge of the bridge holding my hand was Farmer smurf. "L-let me go, Farmer." I said weakly, "I don't wanna live anymore…"

Tears rolled down his face as he shook his head violently. "_NO_, Van'ty. _Ah REFUSE t' let you go!_" He said, pulling me up over the railing.

Once we were both on the bridge, Farmer sat down, his back against one of the wooden support beams. "Dad gum, Van'ty… Wha' were you thinkin'?" He said, wiping his eyes. "Scarin' me like tha'… wha' was goin' through your head, shugah?"

I hugged my knees a little, crying. "I- I- I don't wanna live like this anymore, Farmer…" I confessed, "This fear of being _murdered_ by somesmurf who's supposed to be my own _FAMILY_… It- It- _It makes me wish I could just die and save him the trouble!_" I sobbed.

I felt his muscular arms around me, and blushed a bit. "Dad gum, Van'ty… Ah know you're scared… I'd be too…" he said, his voice breaking a bit, "But su'cide's not th' answer, shugah…"

He angled my chin and forced me to look in his earthy- colored eyes. I started blushing a deep tomato red as he wiped away my tears, "_I LOVE you, Vanity… Like how everysmurf loves Smurfette_." he said, his lower lip quivering, "Ah couldn't imagine wha' my life'd be like if you died…"

He laid his head down on my shoulder and cried like there was no tomorrow. "I- I love you too, Farmer…" I said faintly, not even realizing what I was saying. "I've _always_ loved you…"

He lifted his head from my shoulder and cupped my cheek with his hand. He smiled weakly, and kissed me on the other cheek. He exhaled a little sigh and held me tightly. "Ah love you, Van'ty," he said softly, "An' Ah wish I could protect you from all th' unsmurfy thin's tha' smurf does t'you…"

He rested his forehead against mine, touching our noses. "Please promise me you won' do this again, shugah…." He said, staring into my eyes pleadingly. "_Ah dun' wanna loose you…."_

I took a deep breath. "I promise," I said, wondering if I could even trust myself, "I'll never do something like this again."

He smiled a little, and I tilted his head slightly. I kissed him gently on the lips, and the whole unsmurfy world just melted away.

It's been almost 40 years since that day. But we kept our relationship a secret for at least 35 of those years. It took a whole lot of nudging and prodding from Dreamy and Fly, may they rest in peace, to get us to share the secret of our alternative lifestyles with the rest of the village. Most everyone, including Papa smurf in the long run, supported us. Except for Tracker, of course. Ever since Farmer and I smurfed out of the closet, he'd been more and more blatant with his abuse. Some days I wouldn't even bother to get out of bed anymore. I've always been a skinny smurf, but now I looked like I weighed seven pebbles soaking wet. I also started doing less and less about my appearance. I figured that if I didn't look like I cared so much about how I looked, maybe they would finally leave me alone...

One day in particular, Farmer and I went to breakfast together. "Ah'll go get us some breakfast, shugah." He said quietly, giving me a light kiss on the temple.

I smiled a little in reply, then went to go find us some seats. I noticed two open ones next to Smurfette and Painter. "_Bonjour,_ Vanity." Painter smiled. "Where is your… 'othair half?'"

I smiled a little, and rolled my eyes. "He's getting some breakfast." I said, taking the seat closer to Smurfette. "Oh, my smurf, Smurfette, your hair today!"

She'd put a little blue flower back behind her ear and swept her lovely blonde hair all onto her left shoulder. "You like it?" she asked, smiling.

"Love it!" I said smiling, "I just wish Handy and his picture smurfer could capture its amazingness!"

She smiled a little and stared at her breakfast. Then she looked back up in surprise. "_Vanity, watch o-_-" she was too late.

All the sudden, a cascade of smurfberry juice poured down on me. I already knew the culprits, but I still stood and looked around flabbergasted. Most of the other smurfs were dead silent, with the exception of Jokey smurf stifling a laugh. "What the smurf, Tracker!" I shouted, shaking my hands, "that was a brand new hat!"

Tracker and Camper stood there behind me, empty glasses in hand. "Sorry," he scoffed, not sounding sorry at all. "It slipped."

"One of these days, Tracker!" Smurfette said, standing up and daubing my drenched forehead with her napkin. "One of these days Papa smurf won't put up with it anymore!"

"Papa smurf ain't here, Smurfette." He snarled, "He's visiting Homnibus. That means _Vanity smurf is fair game_."

I looked away, curling my toes in my shoes. He was right. As long as Papa smurf was away from the village, I was fair game to Tracker and Camper. I felt somesmurf's hand on my waist, and turned to see Farmer, poison in his eyes and rage in his face. Tracker was the only smurf in the entire village that made Farmer that angry. It gave me goosebumps seeing him so unlike the Farmer I know. "Ah've warned you, Tracker." Farmer said, spatting every word, "_Stay away from mai Van'ty_."

Tracker broke his gaze with Farmer and walked away, ending the standoff. "Watch yourself, Vanity smurf." He said, shooting daggers of unadulterated hatred at me, "Your little smurffriend won't always be around to save you."

Farmer took my shoulders and turned me from him, relaxing his features and whispering comforting words in my ear. "It's all right now, shugah…" he shushed me, "They're gone… Ah won' let them touch you."

He led me back to the mushroom house we shared, and got me a pair of his overalls. "Sorry, shug. All your other pants are in th' wash."

"It's okay," I muttered, stepping into the legs of the olive green overalls. "At least they're dry."

I heated some water in a large kettle and poured it into a wooden washtub. I smurfed my hat and tried to get the stains out of my white trousers. I sighed heavily. "Smurfs and their white clothes." I shook my head, "Who's the dumbsmurf who insisted we all wear white clothing?"

Farmer chuckled his southern drawl laugh, and stood behind me, putting his hands on mine and holding my white pants under the water. He put his chin over my thin shoulder, still trying to help me wash out the stains in my pants. I blushed, and smiled widely. He nuzzled my cheek affectionately. "_Mmm… I love you…"_ he said softly.

"_I love you too."_ I said, kissing him lightly over my shoulder. "I noticed these overalls aren't too big for once,"

I took my wet hands from the tub and adjusted the overalls I was wearing. Farmer has always been much bigger than me. I've never been able to fit comfortably in his clothing. "I guess you've lost a lot of weight." I muttered, instinctively feeling concerned.

Farmer kissed me on the earlobe and whispered softly. "Don' you go worryin' bout me, shugah." He said, his husky voice sending shivers down my spine and making my tail waggle. "Ah'm fine."

"I know, darling," I said, holding his cheek with my hand, "But it's in my nature. I just naturally worry about you."

"Well, y'shouldn't…" he murmured, nuzzling me again.

He held up my right hand with his. He twirled the silver band on my pinky finger. "R'member what we said to each other when we gave each other these rings?"

I smiled in remembrance of the day. "_My life is forever yours_." I said, nuzzling his cheek and smiling. "_And you are mine_."

He kissed me on the cheek, still twirling the ring on my finger. "Ah would die protectin' you, Van'ty." He whispered "Nothin's gonna keep me from protectin' you. Not some lost weight. Not some pesky cough. And certainly not some smurfho's threats."

"_I love you, Farmer smurf_," I said, adjusting myself so I could look him in the eyes.

"_Ah love you too, Van'ty smurf_." He husked softly, pressing his lips against mine, making my knees feel wobbly and the rest of the world fade away.


	2. Forgiveness

The rest of the day passed without significant incident. I helped Greedy in the kitchen after Farmer and I cleaned up my pants. Painter asked me to model for his latest painting. Smurfette asked me over to her home for tea. I saw no sign of Tracker or Camper the rest of the day. Then it was night. I had dinner with my friends, and then went home with Farmer. The two of us chatted about the events of the day, getting ready for another early day in the morning. ".. Oh! And Smurfette told me to tell you we're both invited to Jokey's masquerade tomorrow night," I called into the kitchenette area, where Farmer was washing a couple wine glasses from the previous night.

"Dad gum, shugah." He said, drying the stemware and opening the cupboard. "Ah've never been any good at these thin's."

I dismissed his comment with a wave of my hand, "Oh, It's easy, Farmer. Just stick with me and you'll do just fine."

He chuckled a little from the other room, and joined me in the bedroom. I watched him from my vanity as I washed away the day's impurities. He unclipped his overalls and opened the dresser looking for a nightshirt. As he turned around to put it on, I noticed a splotch of red across his lower back. "Hey, wait a second, hon." I said, turning around. "What's that on your back?"

He used my mirror to examine the angry red splotches on his back. "Oh, tha'" he said, dismissing it and putting on his nightshirt, "It's no smurfy deal, shugah. Ah jus' fell in some ru'baga earlier t'day. You know me; tha's th' first place Ah smurf a rash."

"Okay…" I said, still feeling concern in the pit of my stomach. "But you should probably talk to Papa smurf tomorrow. That looks pretty bad to me."

He yawned a bit, stretching his arms. "Ah will, shugah." He said.

I rose from my stool, and walked to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Hehe… Y'know, the night's still young, honey." I said, suggestively.

Farmer intertwined our fingers, and smiled his seductive smile "Shug… Ah got an early day t'morrow," he laughed a little. "'Nother night…"

I pouted a little in mock annoyance as he turned himself around so he could look in my eyes. He rested his forehead on mine and locked eyes with me. I always felt so…. _Mesmerized_… whenever he did that…. He kissed my lips lightly, sending shivers up and down my spine. "Goodnight, Van'ty." He said softly.

Him and I walked to bed, and snuggled up underneath the warm, fluffy covers. "_Mmm…_ I love you." I said, snuggling in his warm embrace.

"Ah love you too, Van'ty," he said softly, kissing my ear lobe.

It wasn't long before the two of us were sound asleep. Sometime during the night, I was woken. Farmer was lying in the bed next to me, drenched in sweat and shuddering as if it were the middle of winter. He muttered in his sleep, clenching and unclenching his fists. I sat up and shook his shoulders. "Farmer. Farmer, honey." I said softly, trying to wake him up.

He shot awake and laid his head back on the goose feather pillow breathing a sigh of relief. "Oh, Van'ty… Ah'm sorry… Did Ah wake you up?" he said.

"No, it's okay… my smurf, you're soaked!" I said, feeling his sweat soaked nightgown.

"Ah dun' feel so good, shugah…" he said wrapping his arms around himself for warmth.

I put my hand on his forehead. It had always been a bit warm from all the time he spends outside in the heat. But tonight, it felt as though I'd just touched a fire. "Farmer, you're _burning up_!" I said, getting out of bed and slipping my feet into my slippers. "I'm going to go get Papa smurf."

Farmer shook his head and took me by the wrist. "Naw, shug. It's th' smurf of the night. Don' bother him." He said, "It's okay… Ah'll wait it out until mornin'. Go back t' sleep."

He took off the wet nightshirt and replaced it with a clean one. Then he laid back in bed with me. He sat up suddenly, with a dry, throaty coughing fit. He pounded his chest slightly with his fist, and laid back down, trying to fall asleep. I couldn't fall asleep knowing something was wrong with my beloved smurf. I sat up and leaned against the fancy bed frame. With one hand, I caressed Farmer's forehead, trying to soothe him back to sleep, and with the other, I admired the handiwork of the bed frame.

Handy made it for us as a housewarming gift. It was a queen-sized bed, big enough for both me and Farmer to fit comfortably with plenty of room to spare. The bed frame itself stood against the wall and was open, like a wooden cave. On either side of the bed frame, there was a little shelf for books and knickknacks, or Farmer's alarm clock. In the middle of the bed frame, right about where Farmer and I usually sleep, Handy installed a mirror. I always feel peaceful when I can't sleep at night, then look up at that mirror and see my beloved. He always looked so peaceful when he sleeps.

I cast a glance at Farmer. He had fallen back asleep, somehow, but looked as though he was having some sort of terrible, unsmurfy dream. His face was scrunched in concern, and he was muttering and shaking his head softly. I stroked his forehead, and bent over him, gently whispering sweet nothings and kissing him on his cheek. His features relaxed and he had a gentle smile. I laid back down under the covers and snuggled up to him, trying to fall back asleep. It wasn't long before he was awake and coughing again, this time with more power than before. I sat up sleepily and held him as he struggled to stop coughing. I lit a candle and checked the clock. It was about 4:50. "Ah'm sorry Ah keep wakin' you up, shugah." Farmer apologized hoarsely.

"Don't be. I want to stay up." I said, smiling tiredly. "What kind of a smurffriend would I be if I let you stay up sick all alone?"

He smiled weakly and tried to fall back asleep. I kissed him on the cheek, and tried to fall asleep for the hour before it was time to get up. Thankfully, his cough stayed away for the rest of the "night". But the alarm clock to Farmer's right provided a rude awakening. Grumbling with disdain for the contraption and general tiredness, he shut off the alarm and tried to cuddle up around me. I blinked my eyes more, and saw he'd turned off the alarm. I yawned widely and stretched, trying not to disturb my companion. Once he noticed the disturbance, his head jerked up slightly. "Hi." He said softly.

"Hi." I spoke in reply, "rough night, huh?"

He smirked a little yawning and stretching. "Ah'll say." He replied, "Sorry Ah kept wakin' you up, shugah."

I cuddled close to him. "No. Don't be. I don't mind staying up with you." I said, nuzzling his chest. "Hehe… Although I do wish it was under _different circumstances_, if you smurf my drift?" I said, winking suggestively.

He chuckled a little, squeezing me. "you kin be such a little pervert, shugah, Y' know that?" he joked.

I giggled a little and looked up at him coyly. "Hehe. I know."

He smiled a little and rolled his eyes in mock suspicion. "Y' know… if Ah didn't know you better Ah'd think you was takin' 'vantage of me for m' body." He said jokingly.

I rolled my eyes a little, still wearing my coy grin, and let my hand walk on Farmer's chest like it was a separate entity. "Yes, Farmer. I've stuck by you for forty years _ONLY _because of that smurfy farmer's tan of yours." I said, pretending to mean it.

He shrugged his shoulders in false defensiveness. "Hey, now don' go pokin' fun at th' farmer's tan." He joked.

He chuckled a little and drew me closer. He planted a big, smurfy kiss on my forehead and whispered into my ear. "Hehe… If Ah wan' sick Ah'd make up for makin' you loose sleep… if ya- smurf _my_ drift." He said suggestively.

I blushed a little and giggled. "Oh, that's right! You were going to go see Papa smurf today! Gosh, what time is it?" I said casting a glance at the clock. "Oh, smurflesticks! It's almost 6:30…we'd better get going."

He pouted slightly, and then sat up in bed and stretched. I slid out from underneath the covers and boiled some water over the little kitchenette stove for tea. "Tea, Farmer?" I called back towards the bedroom.

"Thanks, shugah." He replied.

I made two mugs of tea. I put one on my vanity and brought the other to my mate. He was clipping his overalls over his shoulders and stretching his neck. He took a big, long sip from the mug, then put it on the dresser as he clipped the other buckle on his olive green overalls. In a series of long sips and gulps, he finished off the tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He took his straw hat from the rack and covered his head. I sat at my vanity, dabbing concealer under my eyes to better hide the dark circles. Farmer kissed me on the temple, then opened the front door "Hey, where're you going?" I asked, swiveling on my stool, "You promised me you'd go see Papa smurf today, remember? I don't even think he's up!"

"Ah know, Van'ty. Ah'm feelin' a whole lot betta though, so Ah thought Ah'd get some'a th' crops to th' silo b'fore it got too hot out." He explained. "Ah'll visit him later."

I felt somewhat defeated. It's not like I could make him go see Papa smurf. "Okay," I said, finishing with my tea and taking the mugs to the sink. "I'll smurf by the fields later with some breakfast then."

Farmer seemed to tense up at the very mention of it. "Um- shugah, maybe today's not th' best day t' do tha'…." Farmer said sheepishly.

I rolled my eyes a little. "What, you have a smurfstress you see when you work in the fields, or something?" I joked.

Farmer shook his head. "Naw. _Papa smurf's makin' Tracker an' Camper work in th' fields with me t'day_."

Immediately, I tensed up. I was working with Greedy, which meant I had to bring all the workers around the village lunch when they couldn't take a break. As much as I hated it, it now included Tracker and Camper. "Hon, I've gotta do it anyways…."I said, ducking my head. "it's part of my job when I work with Greedy."

Farmer was quiet for a moment, his knuckles still clutching the door handle. "Okay…." He said nervously, "But _promise_ me you'll be careful, shugah. Ah dunno where Ah'll be when you come with breakfast."

I nodded, and met him at the doorway. "I will. _Promise_." I said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "now, go on! You're running out of daylight!"

He smiled his wide smile and nodded his head, closing the door behind him. After a short while, I left our little mushroom bungalow and started walking for the mess hall. for the first time since I can't remember when, I was actually one of the zombie-like smurfs that could barely keep on their feet. "_Bonjour, mon ami_!" I heard the thick accent of my friend, "Eh? What is wrong? You look as though you are about to keel ovair from exhaustion."

I yawned and turned a little to look at my friend. "Funny. I feel like it." I laughed, looking in my mirror to check if my concealer had smudged. "Farmer was up all night with a terrible cold. I don't think _either _of us got more than two hours of sleep."

"Oh mai! Has he talked to Papa smurf?" he asked, raising a thick French eyebrow.

I shook my head. "He was feeling a lot better this morning, so he went to go get some of the crops in the silo before it got too hot out." I said, yawning again.

Breakfast came and went with no interesting events. When all the smurfs had cleared their dishes and left them in the washbasin at the head of the room, I reported to Greedy to get the breakfasts for Farmer and… _my two worst enemies_…. Greedy gave me a large picnic basket with three plates with the morning's breakfast. "Make sure they don't get dirt all over the bottom of the plates again," Greedy complained, biting into a smurfberry muffin, "It smurfs the dish!"

I nodded my head and walked to Farmer's fields. It was just my luck that when I approached, Farmer was nowhere to be seen. _Maybe I should wait a few minutes_, I thought to myself, _I don't feel too smurfy going over there alone…_

I waited for another minute or two, and surely enough, Farmer joined my tormenters. Now I felt a bit more safe to deliver their food. Avoiding their hateful eyes and focusing my attention mainly on Farmer, I gave the three workers breakfast. "Here, I gave you my meat," I muttered to Farmer, still avoiding eye contact with Tracker and Camper.

"Thanks, shug." He said softly, tilting my chin up and smiling at me.

The eye-rolls from Camper and Tracker were practically audible. I sat closer to Farmer, and waited for my two tormenters to finish their meals. Nobody said anything, except for little mutterings between me and Farmer. It felt like the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Thankfully, it wasn't very long before the three were finished eating and piled their dishes in the picnic basket. I stood and dusted myself off and then helped Farmer up. He put a hand to his head and blinked a few times. "Whoo!" he said, stretching his neck a little, "m' head hurts…."

"I'm telling you, you have to go see Papa smurf." I insisted, "Something's not right."

Farmer wrapped me in his warm, earthy-smelling hug. "Ah'm fine, shug." He said, "It's prolly just a flu, er something."

"Still…" I said, resting my head on his chest for a moment, "Promise me you'll go talk to him… flu or not, I don't like seeing you sick."

I heard a snort of annoyance from behind me. "Please, really. I just ate." Tracker scoffed.

I turned around and shot him a look of poisonous hatred. "Tracker," I said, breaking from Farmer's embrace, "Make fun of me all you want. I'm used to your torment by now."

I walked towards the taller smurf, anger in my face. "But as soon as you smurf fun at my Farmer, or the love I have for him, that's _smurfing the line_." I snarled, pure hatred in my eyes.

Tracker was taken aback by my anger. "I have news for you, Tracker," I said, staring him down, "I'm more the smurf than you will _EVER_ be. And I'm more the smurf-_ETTE_ than you will ever get."

It felt genuinely good to talk down Tracker like that. I'm not even sure what came over me. It wasn't even a direct attack on Farmer. It was just- a snide comment that any other day I'd let slide.

My pride and confidence for finally standing up to my bully was a short- smurfed spectacle. Next to Tracker, Camper started rubbing his chest and twitching his left arm. _"T-Tracker..."_ he said, sounding terrified, "I-I-I don't feel so-"

Suddenly, the muscular smurf dropped to the ground, convulsing and shaking as if he were a landed fish. Tracker's eyes widened and darted around, panicky and scared. "_Go get Papa smurf!_" Farmer shouted.

Without a moment's hesitation, Tracker ran from the spot, crying for Papa smurf. I watched the shuddering smurf quake in the dust. A trickle of drool shook itself from his mouth. His eyes were unlike anything I've ever seen. So _terrified_. So-_ shocked_… I don't know why I did what I did. He was just as much to blame for my torture as Tracker. Somehow I just couldn't stand here and watch as he shook, scared and feeling alone. I kneeled down beside him and spoke words of comfort in his ear.

It was only a few moments before his quaking stopped completely. His eyes were wide open, in a look of total shock, and his jaw hung limply. I carefully put my two fingers on his neck, just below his jaw, and tried to feel for a pulse. _Nothing_. It was as silent as he now was.

Horrified, I pulled my fingers away. My lower lip trembled. Not knowing why, I put my hands on his chest and started to pump. Maybe I could start his heart again. _Maybe I could save him. _"Van'ty, he's gone." Farmer said from behind me, "_let him go_."

I shook my head, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. "I-I- I _can't_ just give up, Farmer." I said, determined, "Smurfstard or not _I can't just leave him like this_!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I paid no attention, shaking it off and continuing to desperately pump Camper's chest. "Vanity," I heard an older sounding voice say, "I'll take it from here."

I turned my head to see a sad- eyed Papa smurf. Farmer stood next to him, easing me to my feet and wiping away my tears. Tracker was sitting on Camper's other side as Papa smurf desperately tried to find some signs of life. The smurf was tightly grasping Camper's hand, bawling for all his worth. I turned my face from the sad sight and rested my forehead under Farmer's chin. "I-I'm sorry, Tracker…" I heard the sad voice of Papa smurf, "_Camper smurf is dead_…"

Tracker cried a mournful, sorrowful, grief struck wail that rocked everyone and everything surrounding us. I couldn't even bear to look at him. It felt like it was my fault for not being able to do anything. Smurfs came from the smurfberry fields and the village, wondering what all the commotion was about. The sight of one of their own lifeless and unresponsive caused many smurfs, even those that didn't know him very well, shocked everysmurf who saw.

Jokey's masquerade was delayed for a couple of days. Not like any smurf protested. Papa smurf and Tracker had a funeral organized for Camper for the next day. Farmer decided it would be for the best if he delayed his visit for another day. For once I couldn't protest.

Farmer and I didn't talk too much when we got home. I sat at the kitchen table, studying my reflection in my mirror. "Wine?" he asked plainly, opening the cabinet where we kept the liquor.

"We _are _soul mates." I joked a little, rubbing my temples with my thumb and forefinger.

He poured me a half glass, but then got his half- empty bottle of _Smurfern Comfort_ from the top shelf. He brought me my wine and sat at the table, perpendicular to me. "Ah think it was a really smurfy thin' y' did tryin' t' save Camper…" Farmer said, raising the bottle to his lips, "Bein' able t' forgive'm after all he's done…"

I shook my head slightly, swirling the merlot in the crystal stemware. "_I never said I forgave him..._" I said, staring coldly at the wine. "He made my life Hell… It's gonna be an _awful_ long time before I can forgive him. But I couldn't let him die alone and scared… I wouldn't even wish that on _Tracker."_

He nodded his head in silent understanding and brought the bottle in his fist to his lips, taking a big swig. I drank my half- glass of wine, then the two of us got ready for bed. "Really makes y' think, don' it?" Farmer said, sounding chilled from the events of the day. "live an' well one minute, fightin' for y' life th' next. Really makes you 'preciate th' time we got, huh, Shug?"

I nodded a little and let him wrap his arms around me. "Yeah…" I said, finding comfort in his embrace. "It's scary… it's the one thing not even you can protect us against…"

He buried his face in the pillow next to my head. He sounded like he'd started to cry. I held his hands tight, trying to console him. I guess watching Camper die so- _suddenly_- really affected him…

The night was not a very restful one. Between Farmer and whatever illness that was afflicting him, and dreams and visions of Camper's haunting death, neither of us slept very well at all. I awoke to a loud knock on the front door. I looked to my sleeping companion. Farmer was still sleeping, snoring quietly and twitching his ears. I managed to unfold myself from his embrace without waking him and slide out from underneath the covers. I took my fluffy robe off its hook on the door and tied it around me. The visitor knocked on the door again. I unlocked the door and opened it. In the doorway stood Papa smurf, clad in black trousers and coat, and wearing a solemn expression. "Hello, Papa smurf. Come in, come in." I said, a little surprised to see him. "What brings you here?"

I put a kettle of water over the stove. "Tea?" I asked.

Papa smurf shook his head gently "No thank you, Vanity." He said, entering my cozy little bungalow, looking a little surprised. "I came to check on you two. You missed breakfast."

Confused, I looked at the clock in the corner. It read 10:30! "Oh, smurf is me!" I said, stunned, "_Farmer, wake up!"_

The lump in the bedroom stirred a little, mumbling and covering his head with the pillow. I rolled my eyes a little and rushed into the bedroom, giving his shoulder a shake. "_FARMER_." I said loudly.

The blanketed lump jerked awake and rolled over. "_Mmph!_ Ah- Ah- Ah'm up… Ah'm up shugah." He muttered, "wha' time is it…?"

"It's _10:30_! _We overslept_!" I said.

"_Dad gum_!" he shouted, jumping out of bed. "_Ah gotta get out to th' fields_!"

Farmer scrambled to find a clean pair of overalls, tripping over sheets and shoes. "Farmer, Farmer, calm yourself!" Papa smurf said, trying to calm Farmer, "Everyone's taking a day off of chores for the funeral. You included."

Farmer breathed a little sigh of relief and sat on the edge of the bed. "Phew!" he said, laughing a little. "Y'scared me, Pa' smurf."

Papa smurf chortled a little "Sorry, Farmer." He said, sitting next to him on the bed. "I came by to ask whether you two were going to the funeral today."

I shifted my gaze and went quiet for a moment. The kettle in the kitchen whistled. Wanting to dodge Papa smurf's questions, I rushed to take the kettle off the stove. I made myself a cup of tea, still nervously trying to dodge Papa smurf's question. "I understand if you don't," Papa smurf added, "But I think it would be really good for you two to get some closure, given the situation."

I took a deep breath and looked to the side, swirling my cup of tea. "Papa smurf…" I said weakly, "If this is your attempt at getting me to make peace with what they've done…. I'm afraid you're _way off base_."

I clenched my fist in resentment. "Tracker and Camper have _put me through Hell_ for as long as I can remember…" I said, remembering their torture, "I can't just forgive one of them just because he died and I didn't want him to die alone."

Papa nodded his head in understanding, my words seeming to sting him like needles. "I understand, Vanity," he said, rising from his seat on the bed. "I can't make you go. But I do think that it would be good for you to put him and his actions in the past."

I nodded my head slightly, biting my bottom lip. "I- I'll go…" I said, fighting the memory of Camper's terrified eyes. "If not for Camper, just so I can get these images out of my mind…"

Papa smurf nodded his head, and took me in a warm, fatherly embrace. I buried my face in his black coat, dry-sobbing at the memory. "_no_ smurf deserves to die like that…" I said softly, "_Not even a smurfstard like him…."_

"indeed, my little smurf," Papa smurf cooed sadly in reply, "but thanks to you, he didn't die alone. That's more than many other smurfs _ever_ get in their lives."

I broke the embrace and nodded, still haunted by the memory of the terror in Camper's eyes. "You boys best get moving," Papa smurf said, seeing himself out." The funeral's in two hours."

"Thank you, Papa smurf." Farmer said, taking my hand for reassurance, "We'll see y' then."

Papa smurf closed the door behind him. I sighed a little and rested my head on Farmer's chest. "I suppose we ought to be getting ready." I said softly, finishing the last of my tea and putting the cup on the desk to my left.

Farmer nodded and released my hand. He made his way quietly to the dresser, and opened one of the bottom drawers. He fished out a pair of black formal dress pants and put them on while I put more concealer over the darker-growing circles underneath my eyes. I watched as Farmer was having some trouble keeping his formal pants up at his waist. "Dad gum," he said marveling at how big the trousers were on him, "Ah s'pose Ah've lost a bitta weight."

I swiveled on my stool, looking at him from top to bottom. Now that I looked at him again, he did look thin. So thin he looked _unhealthy_. Like any meat that had ever been on his bones was wasting away. Almost like one of the pictures in one of Papa smurf's medical books describing some form of eating disorder, but not quite as bony. "Mind if Ah wear a pair'a your old ones, Van'ty?" he said, rooting through the drawer.

"No," I said, feeling worried, "but I think they'd be a bit too small for you."

He found a pair of my old ones that had gotten too big. He tried them on. "They fit jus' fine, shugah."

That's when the worry really set in. Farmer _NEVER_ could fit in my clothing. Smurf, he couldn't even wear one of my hats without getting a headache! Something was seriously wrong… "Shugah. Ah know tha' look," Farmer said, cracking a smile. "Ah'll talk t' Pa' smurf later, after th' funeral."

That smurf can read me like a book. I swiveled back around and continued with my skin- care regimen. Farmer went in the kitchen area to have a cup of the tea I made earlier. I changed into a pair of loose fitting black slacks. _Goodness,_ I thought, _both of us_ have _lost a bit of weight... _

I shook the thought and tied my tie facing the mirror. Farmer reentered the room with his cup, and went back to looking through the drawers for his tie. Once he finally did find it, he draped it over his neck and tried to get it to tie right. "Aww, smurf it all! This dad gum tie!" he said, fighting with the tie.

I smiled a little at my lover's expense and turned him towards me, "Oh, Farmer. Here, let me help you with that." I said, taking the fabric in my hands. "I swear, what would you do without me?"

He smiled a little, giving a little eye roll. I tied his tie for him. "There. Looking good and smurfy, honey." I said with a sly smile, "Personally, I think you look better without the tie…."I added with a wink "_Or trousers for that matter_."

He smiled seductively, wrapping his arms around my slim body and playing with the waistband on my pants a little bit. "Aw you," he said, still smiling his sensual smile. "Ah cain't go walkin' round in m' smurfday suit _ALL _th' time."

I pouted and snapped my fingers a little in false(somewhat, anyway) disappointment. "Darn," I said.

Farmer looked over to the clock. "We'd betta' go, shugah." He said, holding my coat for me. "Th' funeral starts soon."

I nodded a little, still feeling nervous about the whole ordeal. "You ready?" He asked, offering me his arm.

I looped my arm with his and sighed slightly. "As ready as I'll ever be, darling." I replied

The two of us walked to the village square, and found ourselves two seats in the far back. Sassette and the other smurflings sat by Farmer and I. Sassette climbed up onto Farmer's lap and sat on his knee. Nat sat right next to her, offering her a friendly same-sized shoulder to cry on. Snappy and Slouchy sat next to Nat, looking pouty and in denial about the unsmurfy occurrences. Papa smurf silenced the chattering smurfs and spoke a eulogy for Camper. Even when others surrounding me were practically bawling their eyes out, I stayed dry eyed throughout most of the service. Certainly not happy, but dry- eyed never the less. It wasn't until Tracker stood to give his eulogy that I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. Tracker looked positively devastated by the loss. It was a wonder he was still standing. "C-C-Camper Smurf was my best friend…" He said, already fighting tears, "He's been my best friend since we were smurflings. I've known him my whole life… there was nothing he loved more in the world than to go out on nature hikes… The world was his tent… The sky was his sleeping bag-"

Tracker's body hitched slightly as he paused to collect himself, "I-I-I'm sorry… I-I-I'm really no good at these things," he admitted, "they always say you'd rather be in the casket than smurfing the eulogy."

He bit his lip and wiped away the excess water from his eyes. "_Camper was smurfed with a large hole in his heart_. Medically, there was nothing anyone could do to help him. Everysmurf thought he wouldn't even make it through his first night." Tracker said, closing his eyes in memory of his fallen friend, "He died of a cardiac arrest at 230 years old… _that's longer than anyone ever thought he would live_."

He slumped over the podium for a moment, bawling for all his worth. Papa smurf rubbed his back reassuringly, whispering words of condolence in his ear. Tracker straightened up again, wiping his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Camper was my best friend… smurf. He was the greatest friend anysmurf ever could've asked for. I- I take comfort in knowing that he's not in anymore pain…. And that nothing else can hurt him now."

Once the funeral was over, it was only the polite thing to do to offer condolences to Camper's friends. As much as I hated Camper, his friends sure didn't. Farmer and I moved down the line, until at the very end waited a grief- stricken Tracker smurf. I forced myself to look into his eyes. What usually held unadulterated hatred for me was filled with a sense of loss and emptiness. I looked away from his gaze, not out of fear, but out of remorse. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more to save him, Tracker." I said, at last, "even if you two've made my life a living Hell…. No one deserves to die like Camper did…"

Tracker mouthed a silent thank you and shut his eyes. Farmer and I waited for a while after the burial before we finally approached Papa smurf in his lab. His face was hidden and his nose was smurfed in a book. "Pa' Smurf?" Farmer said softly.

Papa smurf looked up for a moment, sorrow in his features. "Ah know this might not be th' best time with all tha's happened t'day," Farmer said, "Ah ain't been feelin' too good las' couplea' days… Van'ty insisted Ah come an' talk t'ya. If you could jus' tell this boy Ah'm FINE, tha' it's just some little flu er somethin', we'll get outta yo' beard."

Papa smurf blinked a little and stood from his chair and got a stool. "here, sit, Farmer." He said, patting the stool and sitting across from it.

Farmer took a seat facing Papa smurf. Papa smurf put his hands on Farmer's neck, feeling the glands in his throat. "Hmmm… the glands in your throat are a bit swollen…" He said, feeling around his armpits. "armpits, too. Hmm…

"Cough, high fever, headaches, night sweats, and a rash on his lower back." I answered for him, checking my reflection.

Papa smurf looked thoughtful for a moment, then rifled through his medical bag for a stethoscope. He put the ends in his ears and put the other on Farmer's chest. "Cough."

Farmer did. It sounded wetter and more forceful than before. Papa smurf nodded a little, mainly to himself. Then he got a thermometer out of his bag and held it under Farmer's tongue for a few minutes. He checked the mercury. "Well, the fever's gone down significantly," Papa smurf said aloud, writing more on a paper attached to a thin wood clipboard.

He cleared a table and gestured to it, inviting Farmer to sit. Farmer rose from the stool and laid face down on the table. He unclipped his overalls and pulled them down just past his lower back, right at the base of his tail. The rash had gotten bigger and redder. Papa smurf carefully examined the inflammation. He went through the average questions, _does it itch? How long have you had it? Etc, Etc._ and had Farmer roll over on his back.

Papa smurf felt around his diaphragm and his sides, examining his inner organs. He gingerly felt around Farmer's ribs, and examined the long, light blue scar that ran down his chest. "Have your ribs been bothering you at all?" Papa smurf asked, gently feeling just below his heart.

Farmer shook his head. "No, not really… they ain't bothered me since th' surg'ry." He replied, shuddering in memory of the day.

He was terrified of surgery. Ever since Cobbler almost died from having too strong of an anesthetic he's had a pathological fear of surgery. Farmer's tractor had nearly crushed him, leaving him with three broken ribs and a punctured lung. Papa smurf said that he had to undergo an emergency surgery, and poor Farmer was in tears begging for another option. That was a rough day for everyone involved.

Papa smurf tested his reflexes and examined his ears, nose and throat. Once he was done, he returned to his desk and flipped a page or two through his book. He muttered to himself as he mixed a potion, and poured it into a vial. He opened a cabinet and muttered as he read the labels on each jar. He selected a large, round one with a greenish fluid inside. Farmer sat up and clipped his overalls again, yawning from lack of sleep. Papa smurf gave him the vial and the jar. "My diagnosis is an unsmurfy case of summer allergies and a 'rutabaga rash'" he chortled at his own little joke, "Here, the potion should help ease the symptoms. Rub this ointment on the rash before you go to bed and it should be just fine by the morning."

I was feeling much better now, hearing it was just allergies instead of some deadly ailment. "Thank you so much for seeing us, Papa smurf." I said, smiling and giving him a goodbye hug. "Sorry if it was any trouble."

Papa smurf shook his head with a smile and dismissed me with a slight wave of his hand. "It was no trouble at all, Vanity." He said, returning to his books, "In fact, I think almost everysmurf is about due for a physical and flu vaccination."

Farmer rolled his eye slightly as Papa smurf mixed the flu vaccination potion. No smurf likes shots. Papa smurf administered the vaccination and sent us on our way. Farmer was mumbling a little under his breath and rubbing his arm when we walked out. "Oh, smurf up, you." I said, giving him a playful nudge, "at least you got it out of the way now instead of dreading it later. And I can rest a little easier knowing its just allergies keeping you up, not some deadly mysterious disease."

Farmer stopped his grumbling and nudged me back with his hip, "Ah TOLD you it was nothin' t' worry 'bout, shugah." he assured me, putting his hand on my hip. "Ah'm FINE. Ah got lots more years t' spend with you."

I smiled and intertwined our fingers. "Yeah… We've got all the time in the world together."

How naive I was.


	3. Illness

The two of us went back to our mushroom and spent the rest of the day enjoying each other's company. Farmer was the most affectionate I've seen him in a couple of days now. The day was filled with music-less slow dancing and sweet nothings whispered. Lots of tickle wars and button-pushing. Lots of suggestive jokes and language. And lots of kisses, cuddles and warm feelings. The day was over too soon. I was standing at the sink, washing some dishes. I felt a little puff of air that made me jump and yelp. I turned around to see Farmer standing behind me, a smug little look on his face. "Smurfit, Farmer!" I said, swatting him, laughing a little, feeling a bit annoyed, "I _HATE_ it when you do that!"

Farmer chuckled a little, playfully nudging my ankles with his bare foot. "Stop it!" I said, feeling a bit more annoyed now. "That's not funny!"

He chuckled at me more, and I flicked some water in his face. Then I turned back towards the sink to finish cleaning the dishes. I picked up a glass, and as I started washing it out, I noticed a little yellowish- brown pile inside "Smurfit, Farmer!" I muttered aloud "Why do you _ALWAYS_ insist on spitting out the hay you chew in you cup?"

In over twenty years of living together, that was the only major thing that really, truly bugged me about Farmer. The button- pushing, I could handle. The laundry loads, I've learned to live with. I had absolutely no problem with him chewing on hay all the time. But the one major thing about Farmer that really got to me was when he'd leave chewed up hay on the edge of his plate, or in his cup. It really, truly drove me crazy.

I cleaned out the cup and walked to my vanity to wash my face. It wasn't long before Farmer entered the room holding something. "Van'ty, can you smurf this stuff on m' back?" Farmer asked, handing me the jar of ointment.

"Sure thing, Farmer." I said, opening the jar.

He laid down on his back with his overalls down past his lower back. I put my fingers in the gel and grimaced at the scent. "Eww! This stuff smells so gross!" I whined a little.

"No 'un expected it t' smell like roses, shugah," Farmer remarked.

I rubbed the ointment over the angry red rash on his back, then wiped my fingers clean with a towel. "There. All done." I said.

He stood up and went to the dresser. He opened a drawer and found a clean nightshirt. He kicked off his overalls and pulled the cotton shirt over his head. I changed into my silk night shirt and slipped under the covers with him. He cuddled me close and we said our goodnights. We were asleep within the hour. It wasn't long before he was awake again, coughing and gasping for air. I rolled out of bed and lit a candle. I looked for the vial Papa smurf gave us. Once I finally found it, I uncorked it and swirled it around a little. Farmer sat up a little bit, shivering and drenched in sweat. "Here, darling," I said, handing him the vial, "Drink this. Papa smurf says it should help."

Farmer tilted his head up and drank the potion in a couple large gulps. Then he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and handed me the empty vial "Thank you, shugah," he said, sounding hoarse.

I put it on the nightstand and handed him a clean nightshirt. He changed, and climbed back into bed with me. He rested his head on the pillow and tried to fall asleep. He was shaking like he was trapped in an icebox. His cough didn't improve. His fever was so hot it practically turned his forehead red. Neither of us could fall back asleep. About an hour after I gave him the potion, he was still coughing and shivering. I lifted the covers from on top of me and swung my legs around to the edge of the bed. "Where're y' goin', shugah?" Farmer asked, sounding weak and delirious from the fever.

"I'm going to go get Papa smurf." I said firmly, putting on my robe and searching for my slippers.

Farmer shook his head as best as he could. "N-no, shugah…" he rasped, "Let Pa' smurf sleep. It's late."

"Farmer, the potion isn't working… Something is really, _really _wrong." I said firmly, almost feeling my voice catch in my throat, "Papa smurf will know how to help."

Farmer still shook his head. "No, shug. Don' go get Pa' smurf… Ah'm jus fine." He said, sounding weaker and weaker. "don' go… don' go get Pa'… Pa' smurf…"

"Okay. I won't." I said, walking out the door with my candle and closing it quietly behind me.

I ran to the village square and searched for the distinct red and white spotted roof of Papa smurf's lab. Once I had it in my sights, I ran to the door and knocked loudly. _"Papa smurf!" _I called into the little mushroom cottage.

The lock clicked and the door opened. In his red nightshirt, Papa smurf stood, rubbing his eyes. "Vanity, do you have _any_ idea what time it is?" he said, sounding tired and slightly irritated.

"I know Papa smurf, I'm sorry." I said a little sheepishly, "but something's _really_ wrong with Farmer! The- the potion, it didn't work. His fever's through the roof! His cough just keeps getting worse…"

Papa smurf's once irritated face changed to an expression of concern. "Hmm… that potion should have had an immediate affect!" he muttered to himself.

He went back into his house and got his medical bag from the cupboard. then he went upstairs to change into his normal clothes. Once he was looking like his normal smurfy self, he closed the door behind him and hurried ahead of me to the little home Farmer and I shared. I opened the door and let him in. Farmer was still lying in bed, breathing heavily and coughing. Even by the dim candle light he looked significantly paler. His chest heaved with every breath. Papa smurf and I took a seat next to Farmer's bedside. "Van'ty…" he rasped, "Ah told you…. y'didn't hafta get…. Pa' smurf… Ah'm _FINE_."

"You certainly don't _LOOK_ fine." Papa smurf said, opening his bag.

He fished a thermometer from his bag and slipped it into Farmer's mouth. Farmer held the glass thermometer underneath his tongue. After a minute or two, Papa smurf removed it from his mouth to check the mercury. "_Great smurfs_!" he exclaimed, "105.9!"

Farmer laid his head back and simply shivered in reply. "Oh, Papa smurf…" I said, holding Farmer's hand. "What's the matter with my Farmer?"

Papa smurf ran his hand over Farmer's forehead worriedly. "I don't know, Vanity." He said, sounding sad. "I've never read anything like it in my books."

My heart sunk into my chest. "I'm afraid we will have to visit Homnibus in the morning. Until then, the best we can do for Farmer is make him comfortable."

I buried my head in my hands and slumped in my seat. "I- I don't know what to do…" I said weakly. "Farmer's always been the one to comfort me…"

I felt a hand on my knee. I looked up to see a tired Farmer smurf looking at me through hooded eyes. "Ah'm…. Ah'm… Ah'm fine…. Shu… shu… Shugah…." He said weakly.

I held his hand and kissed his knuckles. I rested my forehead on his hands and cried, feeling weak and powerless. Papa smurf and I stayed with Farmer until the wee hours of the night. I felt a shake on my shoulder. "Vanity. Vanity, wake up." Papa smurf said softly.

I must've dozed off during the night. "We have to get Farmer ready for the journey to Homnibus's cottage." He said softly.

I blinked my eyes and saw Farmer lying in bed, his breathing even, his skin pale and looking decorated with pale blotches of color. I released his hand and ran my hand over his forehead. He was still very warm to the touch, but he shivered slightly underneath the fluffy comforter. "I'll be right back, darling…" I said softly, caressing his cheek.

I changed into my normal clothes and left with Papa smurf. "See if you can gather a few smurfs to join us. We'll need all the help we can smurf to take care of Farmer." He said, walking towards his lab.

I nodded and started walking to the mess hall. The other smurfs were slowly making their way to the mess hall, muttering amongst themselves. Among them I saw Painter smurf and Smurfette. "Painter! Smurfette! I'm glad I found you." I said, feeling relieved, "Farmer's terribly sick…he- he needs to see Homnibus…"

"Oh mai!" Painter said, putting a hand to his face, "Ah will come with!"

"Me too!" Smurfette added.

"Me as well." I heard an all- too familiar voice speak.

I turned my head to see Tracker smurf and Hefty standing behind me. "_No._" I said plainly, resentment building behind my eyes.

"Forget it. Papa smurf already asked me and Hefty to come along." He said, avoiding eye contact. "Besides… I still owe you for trying to save Camper…"

I felt the hatred burn in my eyes. "_Fine._.." I half- grumbled, turning away from him, feeling nothing but pity and hatred for him.

I led the four smurfs to Papa smurf's lab. He was packing potions and ingredients into his travel bag. "Smurfette, would you please prepare Feathers for the journey?" He asked, barely looking up from his packing.

Smurfette nodded and left the lab. "Tracker, Hefty, Painter, Vanity, please bring Farmer here with the stretcher. I fear he may be too weak to walk right now."

"Right, Papa smurf!" Hefty said in gruff compliance.

He took the stretcher from the far corner of the room, and followed me and the others to my humble abode. Farmer was still in bed, trying to get up. "Be still, love," I said, softly. "We're leaving to see Homnibus soon. He'll have a cure."

Farmer rested his head against the pillow and coughed violently into his fist. Painter and Hefty placed the stretcher on my side of the bed, to Farmer's left. Then they moved the comforter from him, and placed their hands underneath them. "On the count of '_smurf_' we'll put him on the stretcher, okay?" Hefty said to Painter.

"_Oui_!" Painter nodded.

"One… Two… _SMURF_!"

In one swift movement, the two smurfs moved farmer from his place on the bed onto the waiting stretcher. I tucked a pillow underneath his head and covered his shivering body with a blanket. I went into the dresser and took a clean nightshirt and a clean pair of overalls for when he regained his strength.

_Assuming he did regain his strength…. _I pushed the thought out of my mind. "Don't worry, Vanity." I heard Hefty's voice offering his condolences. "Farmer's gonna be just fine."

I cracked a slight smile and put the clothes in a travel backpack. Tracker and Hefty carried Farmer out the door and through the village, much to the confusion and concern of onlookers. A big white crane sat in the village square, eating from a small bucket Smurfette held. The big white bird ruffled her feathers and cooed when she noticed our approach. Papa smurf stroked the bird's shiny feathers. "Feathers, we must get to Homnibus's house as soon as possible." He spoke softly to the smooth-feathered bird. "We have a very sick little smurf that needs help right away."

Feathers nodded her head and lowered her wing to let us on. We climbed on her back and secured Farmer's stretcher so that it wouldn't fall. Papa smurf looked at us to be sure everyone was present and accounted for, then looked down at the concerned smurfs that surrounded Feathers. "Goodbye, my little smurfs!" Papa smurf called, waving. "we should be back in three days time!"

A little voice chimed loudly from the crowd. "Aw, but Pappy!" it whined. "I wanna go with Farmer."

Papa smurf shook his head to the young smurfling, "I'm sorry, Sassette, but Farmer is very, very sick right now, and we must see Homnibus right away." he gently explained, "He doesn't have the energy to play with you right now."

"But wha' if I just kept him compa-"

"My answer is _NO,_ Sassette," Papa smurf said firmly, "Farmer will have plenty of time to have fun once he's recovered."

Sassette pouted and crossed her arms. She looked down and kicked the dust a little. "_It's not fair_!" she whined a little, "Vanity an' Painter get to go…. I was his smurffriend first Y'know, Vanity!"

That little remark earned lots of little chuckles of amusement from many of the older smurfs in the gathered crowd. "Sh- shugah…" Farmer rasped quietly, "C'mon up here an' gimmie a hug."

Sassette scrambled up Feather's wings to where Farmer's stretcher was tied down. Farmer opened his arms as best as he could and let the little red-headed smurfling hug him tightly. "Awww, shugah…" he said in a pained effort, "You'll always be m' girl. Van'ty knows where he stands," He gave me a little wink. "Bu' Ah need you here in th' village. Ah'm prolly gonna be gone for a while, an' Ah need someun' t' take care'a my garden when Ah'm gettin' better. An' you an' th' smurflin's are the only smurfs Ah'd trust for th' job."

Sassette beamed a little in pride. "Chatterin' Chipmunks, Farmer! Y' really mean that?"

Farmer nodded in reply. "Sho' nuff, shugah." he rasped, his voice sounding more and more hoarse. "Now c'mere an' gimmie a hug g'bye so Ah kin get betta' real quick."

The little red-headed smurfling quickly obliged, wrapping him in her childish little arms. Farmer gave her a big kiss on the forehead and the best hug he could manage. "Ah love you, Sassy. Ah'll thinka' you when Ah'm gettin' better." He released her from his hug and motioned towards the house with his head. "Now g'wan! _Git_! M'garden can't wait all day!"

Sassette nodded happily and slid off of Feather's wing, waving a happy goodbye with the other smurflings. Farmer managed as best as he could to wave in return.

Feathers spread her wings and prepared for takeoff. The smurfs closest to her feet moved away, still waving goodbyes to us. Feathers leapt into the air and pumped her wings, gaining altitude with every beat of her graceful wings. I held onto Farmer's stretcher tightly. Once she reached a high altitude, Feathers stopped flapping her wings as powerfully and left them outstretched, gliding gracefully over the green countryside. I paid no attention to the view. My sights were focused on my lover, shivering and trying to huddle under the blanket. I caressed his cheek, feeling worried beyond comprehension. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned my attention from Farmer and looked back. Papa smurf smiled a weak half smile, trying to ease my worries. I cracked a similar smile in reply, then returned my attention to Farmer. His normally tan skin was a light, light cerulean with dark, purplish splotches of color on his chest and neck. He shivered violently, pulling the blanket around himself. It killed me to see him look so miserable…

Thankfully, it wasn't long before we reached Homnibus's cottage. Feathers made a slow, careful descent and let Papa smurf climb down. Papa smurf gave her a quick pat on the head and knocked loudly on the tall wooden door. It wasn't long before the door opened with a loud creak. A tall, blue- cloaked figure stood in the opened door. It's long, white beard cascaded from his chin as he peered down to us. "Papa smurf! What a surprise." He said with a smile, "to what do I owe this visit?"

"Unsmurfy circumstances, I'm afraid, old friend." Papa smurf answered with a worried smile. "One of my little smurfs is dreadfully ill. I can't find anything about his illness in any of my books."

"Oh, my." The old wizard said, worriedly, "I'll get my books right away."

Homnibus waved his hand and made a large book levitate to his book stand. Papa smurf and Homnibus talked and searched the book for anything to help Farmer. In the meantime, there was nothing the others and I could do but wait and try to care for the sick smurf. There was a point when he was feeling smurfy enough to change out of his sweaty nightgown, but for the most part, he stayed on the little cot. Smurfette cooled his forehead with a wet cloth. I held his shaking hand, speaking comforting words and trying to ease his discomfort. Hefty and Tracker leaned against some stacked spell books and waited for some kind of news. "I'm afraid there's no illness like it in my books either, Papa smurf." Homnibus said, scratching his beard in concern.

"Then… _all hope is lost, my friend_…" Papa smurf said softly, burying his face in his hands.

Tears started welling up in my eyes. I leaned over Farmer, awkwardly wrapping him in my arms and crying. I felt Farmer's hand lightly squeeze my hand. "Ah'm….. Ah'm…. Fine…." He said weakly, "Van'ty…"

"I never said that, Papa smurf," Homnibus said, sitting at a desk and taking a feather quill pen in hand. "I may have the solution to this dilemma."

Homnibus paused for a moment, writing a message of some sort. "There is a race of magical creatures that live through the mountains. The Miraguans." Homnibus stated.

"Ah, yes… I believe I've heard of them." Papa smurf said, closing his eyes thoughtfully.

Homnibus continued to write his message. "They are far more advanced in the fields of medicine and technology than even we humans are…"He stated, "Their king, King Ric'alla is indebted to me."

The elderly wizard folded the message and gave it to Painter. "Here. Deliver this to his highness, the king, and he should help Farmer."

Immediately, we started preparing Feathers for the long journey through the mountains. "Thank you for all your help, Homnibus, old friend." Papa smurf said to the old wizard. "I hope I get to see you again soon under smurfier circumstances."

"As do I, Papa smurf." He nodded in agreement.

The flight through the mountains was cold and unforgiving. The wind was freezing, and the rain turned into hail, and then back into rain. It took us half the night to make it through the mountains, even on Feather's back. I tied myself to Feathers and tried to rest, still clutching my lover's hands. I drifted in and out of sleep, trying not to fall off of Feathers. At one point, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Vanity. Vanity, wake up. you dozed off." Hefty's strong grip shook my shoulder. "we're almost there."

I blinked my eyes a little, looking around at my surroundings. Farmer was fast asleep, huddled underneath the blanket. For the first time in what felt like years, Farmer looked like he was genuinely getting the sleep he needed. His mouth twitched a little into his easy-going smile, his ears twitched like a cat's. I smiled a little and caressed his cheek. I wondered what he was dreaming about…. Whatever it was, he looked the happiest I've seen him in the last few days… "_son magnifique ! _Vanity, look!" I heard the heavy accent of Painter exclaim.

I looked behind me in the direction of his pointing. In the distance there was a large castle made entirely of white rock. My heart leapt for joy. The Miraguan Palace! We were one step closer to helping Farmer. I looked back at Farmer, who was still sleeping. "Wake up, honey! Wake up!" I said, excitedly shaking his shoulder.

He lazily opened his eyes and tried to sit up a bit. "Dad gum!" He said when he finally saw the palace, "In all m' life, Ah've never seen such a beautiful palace!"

The other smurfs agreed with him. It wasn't long before Feathers finally reached the front door of the palace. Feathers gently let us down and ruffled her feathers. Papa smurf cooed some quiet words of thanks to the beautiful bird and patted her head. Farmer protested when Tracker and Hefty started to carry his stretcher. "Naw, naw, Ah don' need you two t' carry me." He said, trying to get up. "Ah kin walk on m' own two feet."

Papa smurf placed his hand on Farmer's chest and gently pushed him back down. "Save your energy, my little smurf. You're going to need every ounce of it to recover."

Farmer smurf laid back down, pulling the blanket around himself. My hand wandered to the stretcher, and soon intertwined with Farmer's. I looked at him and gave him a worried smile. He smiled back and warmed my knuckles with his other hand. "Ah'm _FINE_, shugah." He assured me, "Or 'least Ah'll _BE _fine…Don' go worryin' y' smurfy lil' head 'bout it."

I tried to smile. The Miraguans are supposed to be incredibly advanced in science and medicine, certainly they could help us! As we approached the gate, the two guards that stood at attention lowered their pikes. "What is your name and your business?" spoke one.

Both of the guards wore some form of armor, so we couldn't see their faces. But even without their armor, they couldn't have been taller than we were. "I am Papa smurf, the red mushroom smurf tribe, and my travel companions are Painter, Tracker, Hefty, Smurfette, Vanity and Farmer smurfs." Papa smurf said, introducing us to the guards one by one. "We've come from Gerard's forest in the east past the mountains to see his highness, King Ric'alla." Papa smurf paused for a moment to collect his thoughts "One of my smurfs is terribly ill, and we were sent here by the great wizard Homnibus."

The guard lowered his pike and spoke with authority, "So you have come far then, travelers?" He asked, "A journey that far would take a fortnight with seven healthy individuals, never mind with one so ill. How is it you made it here so fast?"

"We travel by crane." Tracker answered, whistling for Feathers.

She swooped down and landed from wherever she had been roosting. The guards gasped and muttered to each other. "Forgive us, kind sirs," the first guard spoke, "We didn't know you were traveling by crane."

"Cranes are a very sacred animal in Miragua." The second guard explained, "They only allow those pure of heart to fly with them. Anyone who can fly with a crane in our society holds a place higher than the average aristocrat."

I nodded a little, surprised by this little factoid. "Squire!" The guard called through the metal gate.

A squire appeared on the other side of the gate. He looked like a young boy, with long legs that seemed frail and delicate, like that of a dancer. His figure was also delicate, but at the same time very virile and masculine. His arms were not bulging with biceps but at the same time looked strong as any person I've ever encountered. His skin was a pale blue, much paler than my straight cerulean complexion. I studied his face and couldn't stop myself from recoiling in shock. His ears were like a fish's fin. His hair fell in light waves to his shoulders. _And across his forehead, he had dark blue tattoos_. Two outstretched sparrows on either corner of his eyes were framed by ivy leaves and crossbows. It shocked me that someone with such intricate tattoos would be allowed to work in such a high place of honor as the king's squire. "These seven are visitors to the king," the guard instructed the squire, "Please see to it that they see him as soon as possible."

"Aye, sir." The squire replied with a single nod of his head. "Open the gates for them, men!"

A quiet chorus of "_Yes sir"_ muttered from behind him. Slowly, the large metal gates rose and let us in. the tattooed squire greeted Papa smurf with an open handshake. "I welcome you, travelers, to the greatest nation on this side of the country. Miragua." He said, beaming with national pride, "My name is Elias, and I am squire to the King. Now, if you'll just follow me, I will escort you to the banquet hall."

"Thank you for your hospitality, kind squire." Papa smurf said graciously, "but it is of the utmost importance that we see the king."

"I understand, Papa smurf. But you have traveled such a long way. Surely, some food and drink is in order?" Elias asked.

Papa smurf firmly shook his head. "One of my own is terribly ill, and requires immediate attention." He said, glancing back at Farmer. "My other five are free to smurf as they please. But I must speak with the King as soon as possible."

The squire nodded in understanding. "I understand. I will alert his highness of your presence." He bowed slightly and skittered away on his spindly legs.

He wasn't gone for more than ten minutes before he returned. "His highness will see you now, Papa smurf." Elias said, gesturing towards the throne room.

We entered the throne room, still carrying Farmer, and bowed very low before the throne. "Rise, noble smurfs." The king instructed.

We slowly rose to our feet. The king sat in the throne, looking at us curiously. He too had a virile body frame and a thin physique, but his hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and fell down his back in a thick, shiny jet-black stream. He also had tattoos marking his face. A centaur aiming an arrow over his left eyebrow entwined with a thorny pattern, curling up his forehead to his widow's point, and then powerfully marching down across his right temple where there was an image of two swords locked in eternal conflict. Just below his widow's point, there was a small image of a shield that bore some form of magical creature. "To what do I owe this lucky visit?" the king asked, his regal voice welcoming and even.

Papa smurf stepped forward. "Your highness, one of my smurfs is incredibly ill." He said, casting a worried glance at Farmer, "I have not been able to smurf what it is that afflicts him, nor have I found any effective treatment to ease his symptoms."

He paused for a moment, thinking of what to say next. "I learned from my friend and colleague Homnibus the wise, that your people are advanced in the fields of medicine and technology." Papa smurf added, bowing down to his knees again, "_As a smurf with no more options, I beg on hands and knees that you help my little smurf_."

The king stroked his black beard for a moment, thoughtfully. "Homnibus…"he said thoughtfully, "So you know him then?"

Tracker nodded. "And he wanted us to relay a message to you as well." He said, taking the rolled parchment from underneath his cap.

One of the guards brought it to the king. He unrolled it and scanned the paper. "Ah, so he is live and well still," he said with a smile, "It's been so long since we've heard from each other, I was almost afraid he'd passed away."

He turned to the guard on his left and spoke in a language I didn't recognize. Then he turned back to us and rose from his throne, "Rise, Papa smurf." He said, "I will do my best to help your sick smurf."

Papa smurf rose from his knees and smiled. "My men will escort you smurfs to the royal infirmary." He said gesturing to the guards on his left. "Papa smurf, perhaps you would enjoy a brandy with me? Any friend to Homnibus is a friend to me."

Papa smurf smiled and politely shook his head. "I'm sorry, your highness. I must graciously decline," he said, "I'd like to be there for support for my little smurfs. I would feel wrong leaving them alone."

I smiled a little. Papa smurf really is a good leader. "Ah, yes. I understand," the king said approaching us, "I have four little ones of my own. Perhaps after supper then."

Papa smurf nodded his head, "I'd be honored, your majesty." He said with a smile.

The guards led us through many corridors and outside into the village. All around the little town was alive with activity. Miraguans of many shapes and sizes, with many different tattoos lined the streets, participating in their daily lives. I saw that many younger looking ones didn't have any markings on their faces or bodies. I turned to the guard that escorted us. "Sir knight?" I asked.

"Please, no titles for me. My name is Jacon." The knight said with a friendly demeanor.

"Okay, Jacon" I said, "Please take no offense to the question, but why do all of you have these intricate tattoos? Weren't they painful?"

"No, my friend… These tattoos aren't made by artists. On our 18th birthdays," he explained. "We all make a pilgrimage to the summit of Mount Sequoiala to receive our blessings from the Goddess,"

He removed his helmet to reveal his own tattoos, "The dragon over my left eye symbolizes the ability to think clearly in dangerous situations," he explained, "The bow and arrow underneath my right temple represents the quest for truth, justice, and all that is right."

He paused for a moment, lingering his fingers over his prized tattoos, "And the braided chains that link them together is a reminder of who I am and how far I've come in my world." He said, closing his eyes, "I was born a slave, far, far away from here. the King found me and freed me, knowing I was one of his kind, and let me work in the palace as a knight's apprentice."

"That's a very smurfy story," Hefty said, looking at his own heart tattoos, "I suppose mine didn't have too much significance until I added the names of my fallen friends to them…"

He rubbed his arm in memory. It wasn't long before we reached a large white building. "We're here." Jacon said, showing us in.

Inside, the building was very quiet. There were not many Miraguans in the room, giving the place a chilling air. Jacon spoke to a female Miraguan that sat behind the desk. I found a seat in the area near the desk. Painter, Smurfette and the others soon followed suit. Farmer found the strength to sit up, stand and sit back down next to me. "Ah'm fine, shugah." He said, noticing the concern in my features. "We're gon' go through all this, jus' for them to tell us tha' Ah'm just fine."

He put an arm around me and rested his head on my shoulder. "nun's gonna smurf me away from you for a long time."

He was still burning to the touch. He jerked away for a minute and coughed into the crook of his elbow. I felt so worried seeing him in this condition. I sighed deeply and stroked his forehead. "Y'know, I think being with you for forty years is bad for my health too," I said, jokingly, of course, "By the time this whole thing's over, I'm going to be a mess of worry lines."

He smiled and chuckled a little. "Shug, Ah don' mind," He said, "B'tween my bad knee an' sun-damaged skin, an all those worry lines Ah'm smurfin ya, I think we'll look pretty smurfy t'gether in 'nother three-hundred years or so."

He gave me a smile and a squeeze. I smiled back at him and nuzzled his forehead. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tracker turn away. I fired a look of hatred in his direction and went back to chatting quietly with Farmer. It wasn't long before a nurse appeared in front of the desk "Farmer Smurf?" She said.

Farmer lifted his head from my shoulder, "The doctor will see you now." She said, gesturing to the open door.

Papa smurf and I helped him stand. "Van'ty… Would you mind comin' in with me?" he asked quietly, "Ah gotta say... Ah'm a 'lil nervous bein' in such a new place."

I nodded my head and helped him walk to through the opened door. The nurse led us through a hallway and to a small white room. Farmer sat on the table, and hugged his arms nervously. "The doctor will be in just a few moments." The nurse said, opening a drawer looking for something. "We ask that you strip to just underclothes for the examination. Just for sanitary reasons."

Farmer blushed a bit and looked at the floor. "Don't worry," She reassured him, sensing his discomfort, "I'm leaving the room now, and your doctor is male."

Farmer breathed a little sigh of relief. He could be so subconscious about his body. Always has been. I had no idea why! He certainly had no reason to be. The nurse left the room and closed the door behind her. Farmer bit his lip a little and unclipped his overalls. He pulled his legs out and let the olive green pants fall to the floor next to the table. I picked them up and folded them on my lap. Sitting in his striped boxers, he nervously looked at the floor and fidgeted his toes.

I looked at him and my heart sunk. He looked so thin…. His normally tan skin looked pale and had a few little splotches of purple on his chest and stomach. His eyes looked deep and sunken in his features. They were ringed with deep, dark circles from all the lost sleep. It hurt my heart to see him in such a state. Farmer noticed my distress. "Aw, shugah, don' go lookin' so sad." He said, smiling weakly.

"How can I…?" I said numbly, "You've lost _so_ much weight…you look like you're about to pass out from exhaustion… And there's nothing I can do to make you feel better…"

"oh, Van'ty," he said, hugging his sides, "y'already make me feel better with tha' smile'a yours."

I smiled slightly, and jumped when someone knocked on the door. A Miraguan with tattoos of owls and centaurs on his forehead entered the room. He had a white lab coat and a pair of thick rimmed glasses perched on his nose. "Farmer Smurf, I presume?"

The Miraguan put on some sanitary gloves. Farmer nodded. "My name is Doctor Mikail Hawthoone, I'll be administering your physical examination today."

He shook Farmer's hand. Farmer sat up a little straighter and lifted his chin slightly. The doctor gently palpated the sides of his throat, then muttered to himself in Miraguan and wrote on a paper attached to a clipboard. The doctor checked his reflexes and used a little light to check his eyes and ears. When the doctor checked his throat, he bit his lip and wrote something on the paper. Farmer laid on his back. Dr. Hawthoone felt around his stomach area. Farmer whimpered a little bit when the doctor palpated near his ribs. "Tractor accident… broke three ribs n' punctured a lung." Farmer explained.

The doctor nodded and wrote on his clipboard. "You mentioned that you had a rash?" He said, recapping his pen.

Farmer nodded. "On m'back." He said, turning over on his stomach.

The rash looked as angry and red as it did when Papa smurf checked it. The doctor examined it, then wrote on the paper more. He went to the cabinets that were perpendicular to the table. "How'm I, Doc?" Farmer asked, sitting up.

"It's a bit hard to tell right now…" he said, opening a drawer, "I'm afraid I'm going to need to draw blood samples for a blood test."

Farmer shifted uncomfortably. The doctor took a largish needle from the opened drawer. He approached Farmer, and tied a rubber tourniquet around his left arm. Farmer shifted uncomfortably as the doctor swabbed his arm with an alcohol-soaked swab. I moved from my seat and took his open hand. He looked at me with a nervous smile that turned into a slight grimace when the doctor pierced the veins in his elbow. The little vial attached to the needle quickly filled up with blood, dark red in color. In one quick movement Dr. Hawthoone replaced the filled vial with an empty one. Farmer bit his lip a little and squeezed my hand. After the second vial was filled, the doctor untied the tourniquet and removed the needle. "There," he said, taping a little square of gauze to the site. "I will take these to the labs as soon as we're done here. We can expect the results of the blood test within the next day."

Dr. Hawthoone removed his gloves and adjusted his glasses, "In the meantime, I suggest all of you go home and get some rest." He said, writing some final notes on his clipboard.

"Thank you for all your work, Dr. Hawthoone," Papa smurf said, shaking the doctor's hand graciously.

"It's my duty as a doctor, my friend." The doctor said with a polite wave of his hand.

I handed Farmer his overalls. He pulled on the legs and clipped the buckles in front. As we walked out, I noticed one of his straps twisted and askew. "Oh! Hang on a minute, hon." I said, stopping him and unclipping the buckle. "Your strap was twisted."

I fixed the strap, and reclipped his overalls. "What would you do without me?" I said, smiling and nuzzling his cheek.

He smiled and put an arm around me as we walked. We joined the other smurfs in the waiting room. "It's almost suppertime back at the palace," Jacon said, gesturing back towards the palace. "We'd best be returning."

We all nodded our heads in reply, our stomachs grumbling in agreement. We followed Jacon back to the palace, where he showed us to the grand banquet room. The king and his men served us a wonderful tasting banquet, with fine wines and fantastic entertainment. Upon concluding his meal, the king stood from his place at the table and stretched his back. "Ah… A wonderful meal!" He said, patting his filled stomach, "Papa smurf, are you still joining me for that brandy?"

Papa smurf wiped his mouth with his napkin and rose from his own seat. "Ah, yes, that sounds positively smurfy, your highness." he said, patting his own belly in contentedness.

The king spoke to Elias, who nodded in reply. "Well, smurfs, I bid thee goodnight," He said, smiling amicably to the rest of us at the table. "Elias will show you to your rooms."

"Thank you so much for your kind hospitality, your highness." Smurfette said, standing and curtsying.

"Ah, think nothing of it, my dear," he replied politely, "Any friend of Homnibus is a friend to me, and a friend to this kingdom. I wouldn't have it any other way."

King Ric'alla and Papa smurf exited the banquet room, followed by one of the guards. Once all the other smurfs had finished their meals, Elias showed us to our rooms. Farmer and I were the last to be shown our room. Elias inserted a key into the door, and turned it slowly. He turned the knob and pushed the door in, lighting a couple of candles for us. "Feel free to open one of the wines in the cabinet," He said, adjusting some of the curtains, "The bathroom is just through this door."

He opened a large door that led into a colossal master bathroom. It had a lovely sea motif, lots of sea shells, and sea animals. In the corner next to a large bay window, there was a large bath tub in the shape of an oyster shell. Elias showed us how to work the bath, and then took his leave. Once Elias had closed the door behind him, Farmer faced me and put his arms around me, gazing into my eyes. "Ah thought he'd neva leave." He said huskily.

His voice sent shivers down my spine, and made my tail waggle agitatedly. "Hehe… I know, me either," I replied.

He rested his warm forehead on mine, and played with the waistband of my pants a little. I waggled my tail more in pleasure. "Hehe, what's gotten into you?" I asked, a little smile playing at my features. "Hehehehe, you're so frisky tonight!"

Farmer nuzzled my cheek affectionately. "I dunno," He said softly, "Ah jus see you in this smurfy lightin' an', well…." He ridged his eyebrow suggestively.

I giggled a little, giving his arm a playful swat. "Hehehe, now who's the pervert?" I said, bringing him closer to me.

Farmer chuckled a little, letting his hands wander down my back, "Guilty as smurfed, shugah." He husked.

My tail waggled like it had a mind of its own. He kissed my lips softly, and caressed my cheek with his other hand. For a moment, I broke the kiss and smiled at him, my eyes hooded, "I think we could use some freshening up, darling," I whispered, "How about a bath?"

He chuckled quietly and continued playing with my waistband. "Ah think tha' sounds positively smurfy, shugah."

The night was filled with wonderful, smurfy things. Things I would blush like crazy talking about. Things that made me feel so… SMURFY…. In every smurfed meaning of the word. I woke the next morning in soft, smooth sheets. I looked around the room, since there was now enough light to see everything. It was very nice and well decorated, even with all the clothing everywhere from the previous night. I smiled a little remembering it. I felt the arms around me, following them to their source. Farmer was laying next to me, his face against the nape of my neck. I turned myself a little, careful not to wake him. I kissed his cheek lightly, and nuzzled his cheek. Farmer stirred a little, muttering and blinking his eyes. "G'mornin', shugah." He whispered.

"G'morning," I whispered back, smiling.

"One smurfofa night, huh?" He said ridging his eyebrow suggestively.

"Yeah," I said, giggling a little, "We'll have to do that again sometime."

Farmer breathed out a little, and put his hand back behind his head. "Wellll," he said, rolling his eye a little with that smile of his, "Ah dun' think anysmurf's up right now,"

I blushed and giggled, "Hehehe, you animal!" I said, biting my lip a little.

"I know" he said with a little wink.

I put my hands around him, pulling him on top of me. He kissed me passionately, rubbing my tail and making it waggle like crazy. I love it when he does that. Oh, SMURFIT I love it when he does that! I caressed his strong back, feeling his muscles tense.

All of the sudden, there was a loud knock at the door. Farmer broke the kiss and looked towards the door. "WELL." He said, laughing a little bit, "That didn't last long."

I smiled a little. "Gotta love smurfs and their uncanny ability to smurf the moment." I joked, rolling my eyes, and laughing a little.

Farmer slid off of me, and out of the bed. Whoever was at the door knocked again. Farmer scanned the room looking for his overalls. "Just use the robe I found in the cabinet yesterday." I said, sitting up and leaning against the squishy pillows.

Farmer took a robe that was draped over a chair and tied it around his waist. He went to answer the door. I sat up, enjoying the gentle smells of the soft sheets. Farmer stood at the door for a minute, talking with the visitor. Then, he smiled and nodded, and shut the door. "Who was at the door, sweetie?" I asked, leaning against my elbow.

"Smurfette." He said, untying the robe and looking for his overalls. "She said it's jus' bout Breakfast time, an' then she said we was gon' walk to th' doctor's an' wait for th' blood test results."

He found them and put them on. I'd almost forgotten about the blood test…. Anxiety and apprehension smurfed me like a ton of bricks. I curled my knees to my chest, hoping and praying that this feeling in the pit of my stomach was just that- a feeling. I felt Farmer's hand on my forehead, rubbing it softly with his thumb. I looked up to see him smiling demurely. "It's all right, shugah." He said softly, "They're gon' tell us what Ah've been tellin' you all week: Ah'm FINE."

I closed my eyes and sighed a little. "I hope you're right, darling." I murmured.

I found my pants from yesterday. Farmer and I walked hand in hand to the banquet hall, where all the other smurfs were sitting and chatting amongst themselves. We ate our breakfast, talking nervously about idle things. Once we were all finished with our breakfasts, Jacon and Elias escorted us to the infirmary. It still had that chilling air to it, even though the day was lovely and sunny outside. We weren't waiting for more than ten minutes before Dr. Hawthoone entered the scene from his office. "Farmer smurf?" he said, approaching Farmer and I. "I have the results from your blood test…"

My stomach churned a little. "I'm not sure exactly how to tell you…. So it might be best if I spoke with Papa smurf and Farmer alone." He said, Gesturing for them to follow.

"B-but what about me?" I asked, feeling a little hurt, "I'm his smurffriend! For forty years now! Surely you can tell me what's going on!"

Farmer turned towards me. "It's all right, shugah." He said reassuringly, "Ah'll tell you m'self tha' Ah'm jus' fine. You'll see."

He gave my hand a squeeze. "Okai?"

I nodded, letting go of his hand and watching him disappear behind the doors. The passing minutes felt more like hours. I turned to Smurfette on my right, and held her hands, feeling terribly worried. "Oh, Smurfette, they've been in there an awful long time…" I said, my eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Oh, don't worry Vanity," Smurfette patted my hands and tried to comfort me, "You know Farmer; he's probably staying in there on purpose to smurf some anticipation."

I smiled. He _DID_ like to do that. What felt like another hour later, Farmer finally emerged from the door. I immediately jumped up and rushed to him, "Thank goodness!" I sighed in relief, "So, what'd the doctor have to say?"

Farmer looked away from me, looking more and more anxious. "Farmer, honey?" I asked, feeling confused.

Farmer blinked his eyes a little, then looked at me, pain in his eyes. Something was wrong… _REALLY wrong_… "C'mon, shugah, let's go, uh-talk in priv'cy." He said, taking me by the hand and leading me down a corridor.

He seemed very- _off_… He wouldn't look me in the eyes… I could barely get two words out of him… Something was terribly wrong. "What's the matter, darling?" I asked.

No answer. Not even a glance. "Farmer…?" I said weakly, "_Why won't you look at me?"_

He stopped walking, and forced himself to look at me in the eyes. "Van'ty…" he said quietly. "_Ah'm not fine…"_

My heart sunk slightly. "Dad gum, Ah'm prolly th' _furthest thing from fine_…" he said, tears filling his lovely eyes.

My heart trembled at his next words. "_Th' doctor says Ah'm dyin', shugah…"_

Too stunned to say anything, I stood there as tears started to form in my eyes. "He called it '_Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome'_… says it smurfed m' 'mune system, an' Ah got a bad infection in m' liver cause of it." he said, letting tears fall from his face. "They- They wanna keep me here fo' 'while…"

I stifled a loud sob for a minute, resting my forehead against his. "Then I'm staying too." I whispered.

He shook his head. "No, shug… Someun' needs to take carea' th' fields back home." He said softly.

"They have Nat for that," I said, "I don't care if I'm away from my beauty products…. _All I need is you…."_

I showed him my ring. "Remember? _My life is forever yours, and you are mine_…. _I'M forever yours…_"

I finally broke down, falling to my knees and bawling like a little smurfling. Farmer sat on the ground with me, holding me in his arms. Not even his gentle words could soothe me… not now that I knew his fate….


	4. Life Support

The little diatribe at the end is based a lot off of "Life Support" from RENT :D

* * *

><p>Farmer held me in his arms for awhile, just sitting with our backs against the wall. We got plenty of looks of pity from passing nurses as I sat there, sobbing my eyes out like a little smurfling. I didn't pay any attention at all to them. Farmer whispered gentle words of comfort in my ear. "This's so backwards…" I sniveled a little, "I should be the one comforting YOU."<p>

Farmer nervously chuckled a little, wiping his tears and giving me a squeeze. "Ah think we both need it, shugah."

I adjusted myself so that I could hold him. "I- I suppose we should go rejoin Papa smurf and the others…"I said, resting my head on his shoulder.

Farmer nodded. He gave me a kiss on the temple, then started to stand up. I stood first, and offered him my hands to help him up. I left my hand on his waist when we silently walked back down the corridor. I gave him a quick nuzzle on the chest before we entered the waiting room. The others were looking as forlorn as we did. Dr. Hawthoone was with them, clipboard in hand. Farmer and I sat down, and I tilted his head so it rested on my shoulder. He cried a little, sounding scared out of his wits. I shh-ed him quietly, and held him tight. "Farmer," Dr. Hawthoone spoke, "I know you're in a very dark place right now, but the sooner we isolate the origin of the disease, the sooner we can work towards a treatment."

Farmer nodded his head slightly. "Have you ever had to have a blood transfusion?" The doctor asked.

Farmer shook his head no. "Have you ever shared intravenous needles with another smurf?" Dr. Hawthoone asked, writing on his papers.

Farmer shook his head firmly. He hated needles. "I see… and Vanity is your only sexual partner?" The doctor asked.

Farmer smiled. "For forty years." He said, nudging me with his forehead.

I turned my head and kissed him on the forehead. Tracker turned away from us. I shot him another poisonous look. The doctor shifted in his seat, and adjusted his spectacles. "I see…. Vanity, would you please come with me?" he said.

"Well, yes, but- may I smurf why?" I asked, confused.

The doctor adjusted his glasses again. "I must administer a blood test, Vanity. I have reason to believe that you are HIV positive." He said.

"What on smurf is an HIV?" I asked.

"HIV is the virus that develops over time to become AIDS. It can be spread many different ways, such as through sharing blood or between sexual partners." The doctor explained.

Cold realization dawned on me… "S-so what you're saying is that-"I stammered slightly, "_That I did this to my Farmer_?"

The doctor averted his eyes. Everything around me seemed to become a blur. My eyes filled with tears. I looked at Farmer and retracted my hand from his waist. Every time we expressed our love physically…. I was smurfing him one step closer to _death_…. For _forty years…_ I've been _killing_ him…_It's as if every time we made love I smurfed a knife a little deeper in his back_… Farmer is dying because of _me_… "Vanity?" The doctor shook me from my thoughts. "The blood test?"

I wiped my eyes and nodded. Farmer lifted his head from my shoulder and started to stand with me "Oh! No, no, darling, save your strength. You don't have to come along…" I stopped him. "I can go alone…"

Farmer looked at me a little funny. He slowly sat back down, folding his hands on his lap. I followed the doctor through the door to a little wooden chair with a long armrest. I sat on the chair and rested my arm on the extension. Dr. Hawthoone put on a pair of sanitary gloves and opened a drawer on a small cabinet. He tied a tourniquet tightly around my upper arm. He removed a larger needle from the drawer and closed it shut. It looked like the one he used for Farmer. He swabbed my elbow with a cotton swab. I nervously looked to the side. _Maybe I should've let Farmer come along…_ I thought to myself.

I felt the needle pierce my elbow and curled my toes a little. It only took a minute or two to fill the vials. The next thing I knew, the tourniquet was loosened, and Dr. Hawthoone taped a little square of gauze over the needle prick. I stood from the chair and adjusted my cap. I suppose it was a good thing I forgot my mirror at home… I probably looked like a hot mess… I reentered the waiting room, my eyes angled toward the ground. I took my seat next to Farmer. He smiled weakly and slipped his hand into mine. I tried to smile, then averted my gaze, shying away from his kind face. "What is the treatment, Doctor?" Papa smurf asked. "Is there any way I can help?"

The doctor sat across from us in a rolling chair. He took off his glasses and started cleaning them with a tan cloth. "There are treatments for the liver infection…" He said, cleaning the thick lenses. "But even with all our progress in medical science… We still have no cure for AIDS."

Farmer drew a jagged breath and pressed the back of my hand to his face. Smurfette cried on Hefty's shoulder. Hefty wrapped her in his arms and rubbed her arms. Painter was staring numbly at the floor. Tracker still turned away from all of us, but bowed his head slightly. I felt a stabbing pain in my gut. The words were cemented in my mind: _He's here because of YOU, Vanity_. My eyes watered and my lower lip trembled. "What about in magic and herbalism? Surely, there must be something." Papa smurf asked.

"Our scientists have been making progress with far away pollens and plants…." The doctor said thoughtfully.

"Hm! Then I know just who to talk to!" Papa smurf said, sounding optimistic. "Come, my little smurfs. We should let Farmer rest."

The others stood from their seats slowly. "If it's okay, Papa smurf, I should stay with Farmer…" I said giving his hand a squeeze. "What kind of a smurffriend would I be if I left him like this…?"

"I understand, Vanity." Papa smurf said, approaching us. "We should leave right away, Farmer."

Farmer let go of my hand and stood slowly. "Is' okay, Pa' smurf." He said, "Ah'm not goin' nowhere."

Papa smurf smiled a little, and pulled Farmer in a warm, fatherly embrace. "We'll be back as soon as we smurf the cure…" he said, his voice shaking, "Take care, my little smurf…"

"Ah will, Papa…" Farmer weakly replied.

Papa smurf broke the embrace and wiped his eyes. Smurfette approached Farmer, hugging her arms. She wrapped her arms around him, crying big, bubbly tears. "I-I'll see you soon, Farmer…" She said softly, "I- I- oh God…"

She couldn't finish the thought. Farmer shushed her quietly. "Ah love you too, shugah." He said, giving her a little squeeze, "take good care'a yourself."

She ceased her sobbing for a moment, then walked to me. She gave me a hug, sniveling on my shoulder. She stayed like that for a moment, then pulled away, hugging her arms. Hefty patted her on the shoulder and approached Farmer and I. "Don't- don't you go leavin' us, Farmer." Hefty said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I don't have much room in these tattoos." He gestured towards his heart tattoos with a joking smile.

Farmer chuckled a little, "Ah won', Hefty" he said, smiling and putting his hand on his shoulder. "Take care of these fellas."

Hefty nodded a little, blinking away tears. Tracker approached him. I saw him tense up a little. Tracker put a hand on Farmer's shoulder. "Take- Take care…" he said simply.

"Ah will… you too." Farmer replied.

Tracker nodded a little, and approached me. I looked away from him, hate and loathing daggers shooting from my eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him linger for a minute, then sigh a little and walk away. Papa smurf approached me. "Vanity…" he said softly.

I looked in his sad eyes. He wrapped me in his warm, protective embrace. "_It's not your fault._" He whispered quietly. "Even if you do have the virus, there was no way you could've known. There's no way any of us could've known. "

I couldn't help but cry. He rubbed my back reassuringly and shh-ed me. I cried on his shoulder for a minute or two. I would have cried longer, but I didn't want to keep them from their journey. They quickly rushed out the door, leaving Farmer and I alone with Doctor Hawthoone. "The sooner you're admitted, the sooner we can start treatment," he said to Farmer, "Are you ready?"

Farmer took a deep breath. "'Spose Ah'm's ready as Ah'll eva be." He said, still sounding scared.

I filled out some sort of paperwork. The doctor wheeled Farmer down the hall in a wheelchair, me following close behind. He turned into a room, then locked the wheels so he could help Farmer stand. Farmer eased himself onto the bed and laid back on the elevated mattress.

Dr. Hawthoone sat in a neighboring chair and explained the treatment process. I sat next to a counter, staring off into space. He shouldn't be here… Farmer smurf didn't deserve to be here… I wished with all my heart we could trade places… Farmer and I talked, but I couldn't look at him in the eyes… I couldn't stare into his loving eyes, knowing he was here because of me…. I felt too guilty…

It wasn't long before Dr. Hawthoone returned with another set of papers on a clipboard. "Vanity… I just received the results from the blood test." He said, solemnly.

"That was fast…" I reflected.

"We were only looking for one abnormality… with Farmer we were looking for anything we could." He explained.

"Anyways," I said, trying to get back to the point, "What are the results?"

The doctor adjusted his glasses. "I'm afraid you are in fact HIV positive."

My heart sank in my chest. It really _WAS _my fault. Farmer was dying because of some disease_ I_ gave him… it was _MY_ fault my soul mate was dying….

Dr. Hawthoone left to go tend to his other patients. I returned to my seat, staring out the window. Farmer tried talking to me, but I buried my head in my hands and tried tuning his concerns out.

"Van'ty?" He said, sounding sad, "_Why won' you look at me…?_"

I bit my lip and forced myself to look in his kind eyes. "It—it should be _me_…." I said, fighting the tears behind my eyes. "_I_ should be the one in that bed… _NOT you_…"

I ducked my head, drawing a jagged breath and letting tears finally run down my face. "_Smurf, if we'd never gotten together, you wouldn't be here…"_ I sobbed.

Farmer scooched over a little and patted the bed next to him. "Van'ty… Please c'mere… there's room for ya." he said, "gimmie some shugah, shugah."

I cracked a little smile and walked to the bed, laying next to him and putting my arm around his waist. I rested my head on his chest. "Van'ty… If Ah had th' choice t' resmurf the last forty years of m' life, knowing what I know now_, Ah'd do it all again in a heartbeat._"

I cried a little on his chest. "Van'ty smurf… Ah love you. Ah dun' care even if y' did smurf me this thin'." He said firmly, kissing me on the forehead.

He reached over towards a vase with a bouquet. He plucked a single long-stemmed rose from the vase and put it next to my open hand. "Ah'll love you til this rose dies." He said softly, wrapping my fingers around the stem.

I felt the object in my hand. "That's a silk rose, silly." I said, feeling the fake petals, "It'll never die.

"_Exactly."_

I smiled, and snuggled up to him, still crying.

The two of us laid like that for awhile, talking softly, enjoying each other's company. He would turn away from my face occasionally and go into a violent coughing fit. His fever had returned, and so had his trembling. It killed me seeing him in his current state… I held his hands and whispered softly in his ear. It wasn't long before a nurse entered the room, rolling a bag of liquid with a long tube attached to a metal pole. "Let's check that fever of yours, Farmer." She said, taking a thermometer from a cabinet next to the bed.

She slipped it under his tongue and waited a minute. Then she took it from his mouth and checked the mercury. "106.0…" she said, "We have to start an IV drip." She said, opening a drawer next to Farmer's bed.

She took a needle that looked like a dragonfly from the drawer. Farmer rolled his eyes a little, "Dad… Dad gum.." he said weakly, "What'm I…. A… a smurf or a… a… pin cushion…?"

I laughed a little dryly. The nurse swabbed the back of his hand, and inserted the needle into a vein just below his knuckle. Farmer winced a little and looked away. I gave his hand a little squeeze. The nurse attached the little tube to the end of the needle, and taped it in place. She moved a little wheel on the tube and the liquid inside the bag started to flow through the tube. Then she took a syringe without a needle from her shirt pocket and twisted it into a little notch in the tube. She pushed the plunger and removed it. "There… that should help you sleep." She said, "You'll need all the rest you can get when you start treatment tomorrow."

Farmer smiled a little, still shivering. His eyes started to droop a little, the medicine was already taking affect. "Van'ty… you should… you should go back to th' room…" he said sleepily. "Th' bed's much more comfy in there."

I shook my head and caressed his cheek. "Not a chance. I'm staying here." I said.

"V…Van'ty… Ah dun' wan' you losin' sleep over me. G'wan back t' th' room." He said.

"_NO_. I'm staying here."

"Shugah, I'm not goin' nowhere tonight. _GO SLEEP_."

I exhaled a little through my nose, feeling a little exasperated. Once he got something in his mind, there was no changing it. "Fine…" I said, sliding off the bed, "I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning."

"Mmkay…" he replied, giving my hand a squeeze. "Ah love you."

"I love you too, darling." I replied, bending down to give him a kiss.

Just as I was about to kiss him, he jerked his head away and coughed violently for a moment. When he was finished, he turned his head back and gave me a weak smile. "Sorry."

"It's okay…" I said softly.

I gave him a goodnight kiss on the forehead. Just as I pulled away, I noticed he had already nodded off. I ran my fingers over his cheek and smiled at how peaceful he looked. A nurse showed me out, and I walked back to the palace alone. I finally found my room, and put my hand on the knob. I twisted my wrist, and the door opened with a quiet click. The room looked the same as it did when I left it. I sighed a little. The room seemed so much bigger with only one smurf inside…

I felt like I needed to calm my nerves. I made my way to the bathroom and turned a knob next to the bathtub. Hot water began to pour from the spigot, and I quickly plugged the drain. While the bath was filling up, I lit a couple of scented candles and opened a bottle of wine Elias left for Farmer and I on the counter. I poured myself half a glass and recorked the wine. The bath filled itself up fairly quickly, given its size. I stripped down and put my cap on the counter. I carefully stepped into the bathtub, careful not to slip. It was a tad too hot, so I turned the other knob more for a little cold water. Once the bathtub was just the right temperature, I turned off both spigots. I sat down, letting the water wash over me, removing the impurities of the day. I took my wine from the edge of the bathtub and swirled it a little, letting it air out. I relax my shoulders and tilted my neck back, inhaling the steam that rose from the water around me. The scents of the candles too washed around me. They smelled heavenly, yet earthy all at the same time. Truly fit for a king.

_King,_ I thought._ I must remember to thank King Ric'alla. He's done so much for us… as well as let me stay in such a smurfy room…_ I looked at the stemware in my fingers, and rose it to my lips. I took a small sip, and recoiled at how dry and potent it tasted. I suppose I was just so used to the sweet tartness of Farmer's smurfberry wine… I sighed a little. Farmer actually didn't like wine very much. He said it left him with an odd aftertaste if he didn't brush his teeth right away. I was more of the wine connoisseur. I often worked as a sommelier with Greedy on special events or holidays, helping him choose a year or potency of wine that would work best with his meal of choice. His poison of choice was Smurfern Comfort, and it was certainly a labor of love to make. Even though he owned the village winery, he made wine for everyone but himself. Every year he saved me the best bottles from the season. I kept them all in a cellar that Handy built especially for this purpose. Even for as much as I loved having a glass or two with dinner, we had a lot of bottles downstairs. I swirled the glass in my hand again, hoping that the aerating would dissipate the odd taste. After a few small swirls, I took another sip. It was certainly better now, still a bit strong, but better.

I finished my half-glass of wine, then put the empty glass on the edge of the tub. I sighed a little, submersing my body in the warm bath water. The steam felt really smurfy against my stressed skin. I couldn't help but think of Farmer and wonder how he was doing… He looked like he was finally getting the rest he needed when I left… but was he staying asleep? Was he having more of those awful nightmares? I felt guilty leaving him alone…

I relaxed in the tub for awhile longer, until the water started to feel cooler. I stood slowly, feeling a slight buzz from the wine. I saw my pants on the floor, and remembered that I only had that one pair… _I should wash these_, I thought, _then I'll dry them over the balcony._ I took a nearby towel and dried myself off. I wrapped it around my hips and tucked the corner underneath the folds. Then I bent down and picked up my white pants. I tossed them into the lukewarm bath water and used my fingers to try and rub out some of the stains.

Once I was satisfied, I wrung them out as best as I could and blew out the candles. I took them out on the patio, and hung them over the edge. I weighed them down with two rocks, and went back inside. Immediately after, it started raining and thundering, so I had to run back out to go get them. I hung them over a shower curtain, which stood next to a heater. It was already getting late, so I slipped on my boxers and crawled into bed. It felt so much bigger being by myself… I was having trouble falling asleep. I jumped at nearly every little creak in the room. I hid myself underneath the fluffy blankets and hid my face underneath my pillow. My hands wandered to the right of me, searching for my sleeping partner of forty years. Then I remembered where he was, and curled up into a fetal position. My hands wandered up to the pillow he had slept on last night, and pulled it close to my body. It wasn't exactly Farmer, but it smelt like him… I cried a little, burying my face in his scent. _It felt so scary to be alone in this bed…_

It was awhile before I finally nodded off. And when I did I had terrible, unsmurfy dreams. I couldn't even wake up from them, they just wouldn't let me wake myself up. I was forced to suffer through these nightmares… every one of them featured Farmer… I woke up the next morning drenched in sweat and tears rolling down my cheeks. I wiped my eyes, and went to go check on my pants. They were good and dry, so I took them from the rack and pulled them on. A loud knock echoed through the room. I went to go answer the door. Elias the squire stood in the doorway. "Master Vanity," he said, "Breakfast is ready."

"Thank you, Elias…" I said quietly, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and yawning loudly.

I closed the door behind me and followed Elias to the breakfast table. The king was at his usual spot at the head of the table, a beautiful female Miraguan to his right, and four other Miraguans sitting at the table. They looked significantly younger, and only one of them had tattoos. "Ah, yes, Vanity." The king spoke, rising from his seat. "this is the royal family,"

I smiled as best as I could and bowed respectfully. "My beautiful wife, Queen Alicea." He said gesturing to the beautiful woman on his right, "My daughter, Micha, and my three sons, Jankostu, Ryoko, and my eldest, Kan'nan."

The thee brothers stood and respectfully bowed their heads. The little girl jumped up from her chair and walked right up to me, her eyes wide with wonder. "I'm this many!" she said, holding up her hand, showing me four fingers.

"Wow!" I said, smiling as best as I could, "that's pretty neat."

She nodded her head, her little black braided pigtails bobbing energetically. "Mm- HMM! How old are you?" she asked.

"I'm much older than you are," I said, sitting in the open seat next to her, "I don't have enough fingers to show you."

"But if you're so old, how come you don' have any tattoos?" she asked, tilting her head and giving me a quizzical look.

"Because I'm a smurf. Smurfs don't get neat tattoos like Miraguans do" I explained with a smile.

"Wooaaaw…" she said in utter wonderment.

"Micha, Please stop pestering our guest," the queen said gently, "I'm sure he's suffered enough prattle for one trip."

I shook my head a little, "Oh, no, it's fine!" I said, adjusting my cap, "She reminds me of a little smurfling we left at home." I added, ruffling her hair.

She giggled a little, and went back to eating her breakfast cereal. "It actually feels really good to smile…"I said, staring at my eggs, "Considering all that's happened recently."

The king, his wife, and the eldest son nodded their heads in understanding. "Wha? What's happened?" Micha looked at me with her wide eyes.

"Someone I really, really care about is very sick," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat, "And I'm really scared for him…"

She reached her small hands out and put them on mine. "It's okay," she said, "Don't be scared. Big brother'll help him get better real quick!"

I smiled a little in thanks, then turned to the eldest son, "You're a doctor, Prince Kan-nan?" I asked.

He smiled and shook his head. "No," he said, "My husband is."

I tried not to be rude as I recoiled a little in surprise. "Your _husband_? I- I see…" I said at last, then noticed how rude I must have sounded, "Please forgive me, it's just that… well… marriage between two males in the smurfs village, well its… sort of _taboo_ for a lot of them…"

Kan-nan nodded his head understandingly. "No, I understand. We're from two different societies," he said, cutting his eggs, spilling the yellow yolk over his plate, "And if it makes you feel better… Rossom, my mate, He'll be presiding over Farmer's surgery tomorrow."

I nearly choked on my breakfast. "E-Excuse me, s_urgery_?" I said, hoping I heard him wrong.

Kan-nan looked at me quizzically. "Yes, he said they've detected some kind of an infectious cyst in his liver… they're removing it tomorrow." He said, sounding a little confused.

I put the glass I was drinking from down on the table, and stood slowly, shaking my head. "n-no, no, no, Farmer _CAN'T_ have surgery." I said firmly, "He's Tomophobic… He has a pathological fear of surgery!"

Not knowing what to do or say, I started walking away, then turned back to the table and bowed respectfully. "I apologize, your majesties, for this rude departure."

The king nodded his head understandingly. I left the palace and practically ran to the infirmary, not stopping for an instant. A nurse escorted me to Farmer's room, where he was still asleep. I sat slowly and breathed a sigh of relief. I rested my head on the bed, holding his fingers and watching the liquid drip from the bag. Suddenly, I felt him stir a bit, yawning and mumbling. I sat up, still holding his fingers, and caressed his cheek. "Hey," I said.

"Hey." He replied, smiling a little.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Good… you?"

"Okay…" I replied, rubbing my eyes a little.

He smiled and rubbed my hand with his thumb, "Ah had a dream about you las' night."

"Really? What about?"

"Ah was thinkin' bout when you'n me first got t'gether…" he said, closing his eyes in memory.

I smiled too. Back then, we were always sneaking around… I couldn't even tell Painter about my secret love affair. Farmer and I would go for long walks in the forest together, and not come back for hours. The forest was our safe haven… nobody could find us… nobody could hurt us… Smurf, one late night the forest was where I lost my smurginity. Once we came out, we didn't go for many walks in the forest anymore… there was really no need to. Now that we didn't have to hide our relationship, the two of us could just walk together through the village. "When we go home," Farmer said, interrupting my thoughts, "let's go back to th' forest for a lil' walk… Ah'm goin' stir-smurfy bein' in here all day…"

I nodded my head, smiling slightly. "I think we can smurf that." I said, giving his hand a squeeze.

I kissed his knuckles and held his hand to my cheek. I sighed a little, resting my eyes. The knock of a door shook me from my spot. A tall, thickly built Miraguan opened the door, a clipboard in hand. "Farmer smurf, I presume?" He said, looking at the paperwork.

Farmer nodded. "My name is Doctor Rossom, I'm a surgeon." He said, extending his hand.

Farmer averted his gaze nervously, but shook the doctor's hand politely. "I'm here to talk to you about your liver…" Dr. Rossom started, looking through the paperwork.

_Oh no._ I thought_. Here it comes_… "It seems like we've identified an infectious cyst on the wall of the liver… and we believe it's causing the infection of the organ itself."

Farmer's breath quickened slightly. He knew as well as I did what the doctor would say next. "I'm afraid that in order to remove the cyst and treat the liver, we will have to conduct surgery…"

That tore it. Farmer immediately started shaking his head, a terrified look on his face. "_NO… No, no, no, no, no, no, NO…"_ he said firmly. "_Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah CAINT."_

"Farmer, I'm afraid that if we don't remove this cyst as soon as possible, the infection will be irreversible." The doctor insisted.

Farmer struggled, trying to get out of bed. I stopped him, turning his face towards me. "Hey. Hey." I said softly, "I'm right here… I promise I won't leave you…"

He still shook his head, tears appearing in his eyes. "Ah-Ah-Ah _CAINT_ shugah…" he insisted, "Ah jus' _CAINT_…"

Dr. Rossom waited patiently, pity in his face. "Tomophobia," I said, explaining Farmer's adverse reaction.

The doctor nodded his head in understanding. Farmer's lower lip quivered, and he went almost completely white. "Ah _CAINT_, Van'ty…" his voice was reduced to a whisper.

"Darling… I'll be right here the whole time." I said, gazing deep into his eyes, "I swear on us, I will never leave your side."

Tears dribbled down his cheeks. "Ah-ah- ah'm too scared, Van'ty…." He blubbered, terror clouding over his lovely brown eyes. "Ah _CAINT_…"

I pressed my forehead against his, and nuzzled his cheek. "_Please,_ Farmer…" I whispered, "I wanna spend as much time as I can with you… we may not have that much time left together…"

My voice caught in my throat at the thought. Farmer was quiet for a moment, then took a deep breath, trying to keep away his tears. "Ah-Ah-Ah'll do it…." he stuttered.

"Good…. We'll proceed with the operation tomorrow, seeing as you've already eaten today." The doctor said, smiling very slightly and writing on his clipboard.

He soon left to do whatever, leaving me alone with an incredibly terrified Farmer. "Ah-Ah-Ah'm _SCARED,_ Shugah…" he sniveled.

I sat up on the bed with him and took him in my arms, letting him cry on my chest. "I know… I know…. _Shh…. Shh_… It'll be all right, darling…" I cooed softly, rubbing his arms and rocking slightly.

We stayed like that for awhile, until Farmer had finally run out of tears and just shivered and whimpered dry sobs of pure, unadulterated terror. Eventually, his sobs ebbed, and he drifted off to sleep in my arms. I rested my head next to his and started to let sleep overcome me as well.

A set of light footsteps and a quick pitter-patter sound alerted me to somebody just outside the door. A light knock, and then the door opened, revealing King Ric'alla and a little excited child that burst through the opened door "Hi, Vanity!" she said loudly, a wide smile on her features. "We came t' visit you!"

I smiled a little, but put a finger to my lips, looking to see if her greeting had woken Farmer. He was still sleeping, surprisingly enough. His ears twitched and he snored slightly. Micha nodded a little, her eyes wide, "Ohhhh…. He's sleepin'. " she said in a loud whisper.

The queen was soon at the door as well, dressed in an elegant gown. Micha ran from the side of the bed and tugged at her mother's dress. "Farmer's sleepin, so we hafta be real quiet!" she whispered loudly.

Her mother smiled sweetly, and stroked her daughter's hair. "yes, we do. He'll need all his strength for tomorrow." She said softly.

The king picked up the little girl, and sat in the chair next to the bed. He bounced her on his knee a little, making her giggle and smile. A short while later, Farmer started stirring, mumbling and stretching. "Good morning, sleepysmurf." I said quietly, "you have a few visitors."

"Are th' smurfs back yet?" he asked groggily.

"No… not yet…" I said softly.

Farmer exhaled a little, and adjusted himself so he wasn't draped over me clingingly. "Dad gum!" he said when he finally noticed his company.

He tried to bow as best as he could. "y-y-y-your highness!" he said, a bit in shock, "forgive me, bu' why're you here?"

"I came to see how you were faring, Farmer," he said, still holding Micha. "My little girl was scared when Vanity ran out of the palace on his way over."

Famer shot me a look, and I blushed a little in reply. "Did I mention how sorry I am for being so rude?" I said sheepishly.

The king laughed a little, bouncing his daughter on his knee slightly, "I understand. I would have done exactly the same thing." He said with a smile.

"Thank you for all your help, Your maj'sty." Farmer said humbly, "Ah dunno wha' more they kin do fo' me… but still… Thank you."

"A friend to Homnibus is a friend to me." He said, poking his daughter's side, making her giggle. "I'm only sorry to know the diagnosis…"

Farmer looked down, looking pale in the face. "Ah caint lie… Ah'm _terrified_…" he said, plainly, "Ah've been smurfin' th' worst nightmares bout death, an' leavin' all m' friends, an' all that…"

My heart sank. I knew he was having bad dreams… But I never knew what about… he always dodged the question. "Sometimes… Ah- _Ah dun' even know if Ah'll make it to th' next day…"_

I bit my lip and looked away, giving his hand a scared squeeze. "Bu' then Ah r'member tha' Pa' smurf an' them're on their way," he said, smiling a little, "An' Ah dun' feel so scared…"

The king nodded his head in understanding. "Ah jus' wish Ah could get outta this daggum bed sometimes…" he said, crossing his arms a little. "Ah'm gon' go stir-smurfy!"

"Well…. that I can help with," King Ric'alla said, putting Micha down on the ground and giving us a wink. "Just as long as you're back by 4."

Farmer widened his eyes in surprise. "Dad gum! Really?" he asked.

The king nodded. "I'll even send Elias with you as a guide."

Farmer smiled and shook the king's hand gratefully "Thank you… _THANK you_, Your Maj'sty!" he said, his eyes wide and full of happiness.

The king nodded his head and stood, getting ready to leave. "Think nothing of it." he said, "Enjoy the rest of the day."

The king and his family left the room. "Dad gum, Van'ty!" Farmer said, sounding overjoyed. "Ah kin finally go ou'side!"

I was surprised at how eager Farmer was to go outside. After Elias and I snuck him out, he just about smiled his mouth off. He was so happy that at one point gave me the heartiest, wettest smooch on the cheek. "Look at all th' different fruits n' stuff, Van'ty." He said gesturing towards the merchants with a smile, "This Market's th' smurfiest market Ah dun' ever seen!"

We three wandered the streets for awhile, Farmer's hand on the curve of my waist. Sometimes the two of us would stop when Elias was in a store running some sort of errand, and he'd give me a big hug right in the middle of the street. We got plenty of dirty looks from passerby. But we also got plenty of smiles. Miragua really was different than the village… by now, Tracker would have made some homophobic comment and tried to cut us down to size. But here, no body actually voiced their distaste. Sure, we got our fair share of disapproving glances. I think one mother actually shielded her child's eyes as she passed us. But no one actually said a word to our faces.

The three of us kept walking through the magnificent city until we came to a large arboretum. At the entrance, there was a younger- looking Miraguan holding a stack of papers and passing them out to passerby. "Sirs?" he said, offering us a paper, "If you could show your support today, we'd really appreciate it."

Farmer took the paper and smiled at him, entering the arboretum. "What's it for?" I asked, looking at the paper. "What's _Life Support_?"

"It's a group for Miraguans dealing with illness, and with the injustices they're forced to deal with." Elias explained, "They meet here in the botanical gardens. Anyone's allowed to come to one of their meetings. "

Farmer was quiet for a moment. "Ah… Ah think Ah wan' go…." He said quietly.

"Okay, hon, we can do that." I said, entwining our fingers together, "I'll be there with you every smurf of the way."

Farmer smiled at me and kissed me on my temple, "Ah'm so lucky t' have you."

I giggled a little and nudged him playfully. "I know." I joked.

The three of us wandered the gardens for awhile before we stumbled upon a small group of Miraguans sitting in a circle. "Let's begin by introducing ourselves," A tallish male in the circle said, suddenly taking notice of Farmer and I approaching. "Oh! Are you two here for the _Life Support_ meeting?"

Farmer nodded slightly. "Sho' nuff."

The male Miraguan scooted to the side and made room for us. "Then come, sit." He said with a reassuring smile. "We were just beginning. My name is Tobias, and I have terminal Liver cancer."

The others in the circle muttered amongst themselves. "My name is Ukaya, and I have AIDS."

"My name is Michallas, and I have Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever."

"My name is Rykao, and I have AIDS."

One by one, they all introduced themselves and their ailments. "Good…" Tobias said, standing from his place, "Now that we all know each other, is there anyone who'd like to speak?"

The Miraguan that had introduced himself as Ryako stood and rose his hand. "Tobias, I'm scared. I'm having a problem with this…" He said, "The doctors say I have an infection in my kidneys, and I won't survive the month."

"Okay," Tobias said, nodding his head somberly, "But Ryako, how do you feel today?"

"Well…" Ryako said with a shrug. "Pretty good, actually."

"So then why are you scared?" Tobias asked.

"I really don't know." Ryako admitted.

The others chatted amongst themselves. "Look, I find some of what you teach hard to swallow sometimes. I'm a scientist, I'm used to relying on _intellect_." He said, "But I've tried to keep an open mind on these things…" he took a deep breath. "_Because reason says I should have died three years ago_."

I turned to Farmer. He had thick, watery tears rolling down his cheeks. I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to face it. Elias stood there, just behind me. "I'm sorry to intrude," he whispered to me, "But it's almost 4. We really ought to be going."

I nodded my head slightly. I turned to Farmer, who was still crying big, bubbly tears. "Farmer, honey?" I whispered to him, "It's time to head back."

He nodded his head a little, and wiped his eyes. "Thank you so much for letting us join, Tobias," I said, helping Farmer stand, "But we have to go…"

Tobias nodded his head, "I understand. Thank you for taking the time to come." He said.

Farmer and I left the botanical gardens with Elias, walking slowly back to the hospital.


	5. Goodbye Love

Elias escorted Farmer and I back to the hospital, where his happiness of being outside in the sun was soon replaced by the dread of the impending surgery. Elias and I snuck Farmer back to his room, where the King and his family were waiting. "So! How was your day, boys?" he asked.

Farmer smiled widely, "It was _amazin_' your Maj'sty!" he said, "An' we found a group'a people tha' really smurfed m' spirits."

"We went to the botanical gardens and found that _Life Support_ group." I said, helping him back into bed. "A lot of them had AIDS or HIV, so it was pretty good for both of us."

The king nodded, looking at the floor for a moment. "Ah, yes. I know of _Life Support_. One of my closest friends attended their meetings for awhile… He had AIDS too…"he said, closing his eyes.

I looked at the ground "I'm sorry…." I said, feeling kind of stupid.

"It's all right," the king said, hoisting his daughter up onto his lap. "He's in a better place. He was miserable on earth, now he's found comfort in the heavens."

I nodded my head quietly. Famer shivered a little in reply. I pulled up his blankets. His skin looked pale, even though we had spent all day outside. He was starting to sweat heavily, even though he was shivering again. "Looks like another rough night…" I muttered, only half to myself.

I noticed Micha on the king's lap, looking worriedly at Farmer and then back up at her father. "Your highness, perhaps it would be best for you to take Micha home…This isn't exactly how I'd want anyone to see my Farmer…"

The king nodded in understanding and let his daughter off his lap. "Yes… I do believe you're right." He said.

Micha ran right up to me and gave me a big, sad hug. "Farmer'll be okay, Vanity." She said, casting a confused glance at Farmer, "Big brother'll take real good care of him."

I smiled a little, and hugged her back. "Thank you, Micha… Have a nice day…be good…"

She nodded her head and ran to go join her mother. "Everything will work out, my friend," The king said, patting the side of the bed, "We'll take good care of you."

Farmer smiled weakly in reply. The king left the hospital, escorted by Elias. Farmer's condition remained bad the rest of the day. Sometime during it all, a nurse reattached him to an IV. Farmer was so delusional from the fever he didn't even notice. Sometime in the night, he angled his head towards me on the bed. "Ah'm…. Ah'm… Ah'm _scared,_ shugah…" he said weakly. "Wha'f somethin' goes wrong t'morrow…?"

I caressed his warm cheek and shook my head, "_shh… shh_… don't talk like that…" I said softly, "Don't even _think _of such unsmurfy things…"

"Bu'…. You… you cou' be a…. a 'widower' t'morrow…" He rasped.

I shook my head firmly. "NO. you're gonna make it through that surgery, and we're gonna deal with this AIDS thing _TOGETHER_. That's a promise…"

He smiled as he could. "Ah'm so… Lucky t'have you…"

I leaned in and nuzzled his cheek. "Not as lucky as I am to have you…"

When the nurse came in to check him again, she also injected something into the IV tube. "There… that will help you sleep, sweetie…" she said giving Farmer a gentle pat on the shoulder.

Farmer smiled slightly in reply, "Thanks, shugah." He said to her, "You're a real doll."

She smiled and left the room. "Okai, shugah… g'won back to th' room…" he said, giving my hand a squeeze and smiling drowsily, "Ah'll see ya t'morrow."

I shook my head firmly. "No way. I'm staying in this chair until you're out of surgery tomorrow."

Farmer was drifting off to sleep. "Naw, shugah… Ah'm…. Ah'm…." he was out before he could even finish a sentence.

I made the bed recline back down, and rested my head next to Farmers. I held his warm hand for reassurance. I leaned up, and gave him a light kiss on his cheek, and closed my eyes. I suppose I must have nodded off like that, because the next thing I knew I felt a hand shaking my shoulder. "Vanity. Vanity, wake up." I heard a voice.

I blinked my eyes a little, and looked around to find the source of the hand. Dr. Rossom. "It's almost time, my friend." He said, glancing at Farmer.

Farmer was still sleeping, snoring softly. I stood from my chair and stretched my back, then made the bed sit up more, and on the edge. "Farmer." I said softly, "Farmer, honey… wake up."

Farmer stirred slightly, then woke up and stretched his neck. "Are… are th' smurfs back yet?" he asked groggily.

"No, darling." I said softly, "It's almost time for the surgery… they needed you awake for the preparations."

Farmer's breath quickened, and he started trembling again. I took his hand and stroked his cheek "It's all right… It's all right…" I cooed, "I'll be right here."

"Ah'm _SCARED_…" he said weakly, tears already starting to bubble from his eyes. "Ah- Ah-_Ah wanna go HOME_!"

I squeezed his hand and held his head against my chest. "_Shh_… I know… I know…" I said, rubbing his back.

I kissed him softly on the temple. "After you're better, we'll be able to go home, darling." I said, gazing into his scared eyes, "then we'll go for that walk through the woods… Just you and me…"

I nuzzled him softly, holding his forehead close to mine. Farmer sobbed quietly for a few moments, before the doctor cut off our moment. "I'm sorry to interrupt… but Farmer…" he said, giving Farmer a hospital cap for his head and feet covers. "we're all ready…"

Farmer nodded slightly, using the back of his hand to wipe his eyes. He stretched the cap over his head, then covered his bare feet. He changed into a hospital gown for the procedure, then waited in the bed, growing more anxious with each passing moment. Dr. Rossom, dressed in green scrubs and a green cap entered the room. "All ready, Farmer?" he asked gently.

Farmer shook his head, still scared. I squeezed his hand and turned to the doctor, "As ready as we can be, doctor." I said.

The doctor nodded and walked closer to Farmer. Farmer nearly flinched when he felt his pulse and wrote down his vitals. The doctor turned to a green tank with long, clear tubes attached, and put a mask over Farmer's mouth. Farmer's eyes darted around a bit, scared. I squeezed his hand. Dr. Rossom took a larger syringe barrel from his pocket and showed it to us. "This anesthetic will have you out like a light before we even reach the table," he said reassuringly.

Farmer didn't look too reassured. A small group of surgeons dressed similarly brought a rolling bed into the room. One of them, a woman, took the IV bag and attached it to a pole on the second bed. Her and a second nurse started attaching little circles with adhesive onto Farmer's chest. "Wha're these for?" Farmer asked nervously, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask.

"These will show us your heart rate." One nurse answered. "watch."

She attached little wires to the adhesives and switched on a machine. With a low hum, the machine turned on and showed a single green line that darted up and down with every passing heartbeat. "Amazing…" I marveled.

The nurse nodded. Them, and the other two doctors grabbed the sheet underneath Farmer. "On three we lift." One said, "One, two THREE."

In one swift movement, they moved Farmer from the bed to the second bed. I still held his hand and tried to keep him looking at me. He started shaking his head firmly. "Ah-Ah caint do it, shugah!" he said trying to stand and get off of the bed.

One of the doctors spoke Miraguan to the others. The other doctors went into a cabinet and found leather bindings. Two of the doctors held Farmer down to the bed, while the other two used the straps to tie him down. They started rolling his bed out the door and down the hall. I released Farmer's hand for just a minute so I could try to catch up with the doctors. Tears of utter terror streamed down from Farmer's cheeks. "_V-V-Van'ty!_!" he cried out.

I took his hand again, then turned his head towards me and locked our eyes. "I'm still here… just _BREATHE,_ darling…" I said soothingly.

Farmer, still panicking, squeezed my hand for all his worth. The doctor inserted the barrel with anesthetic into the notch in Farmer's IV tube. "Here comes the anesthesia…" he said, pushing the plunger.

Farmer panicked, fighting as best as he could, hot tears of terror rolling down his cheeks. I tried my best to keep up with him and the doctors as we all rushed to an operating room before the anesthetic could take effect. Gradually, the anesthetic took effect and Farmer's fighting became less and less desperate. "_Shh_…. It'll be over soon, love…" I cooed softly, stroking his forehead and caressing his cheek. "_We're almost there_."

After another minute or two, Farmer's eyes slid completely closed and his struggles ebbed away. His death grip on my hand slackened and his head laid back relaxed. A nurse turned a knob on the green tank and started the oxygen flow. Before the doctors wheeled him into the operating room, I gave him a light kiss on the cheek, right next to his mask. The doors slammed shut behind them, leaving me in the hallway.

A nurse led me to a waiting room. I sat, my head in my hands. Ten minutes turned into an hour. An hour turned into two hours. Two hours turned into four. My nerves were getting worse and worse by the minute. I bounced my knee fretfully. I feared the worst. All the terrible, unsmurfy things that could have happened to my lover flickered through my mind. I also wondered where the smurfs were now. They'd been gone for three days now, and we hadn't heard from them. I wondered how they were doing, whether or not they had found the cure yet.

Much to my relief, a nurse that had gone into the operating room with Farmer walked into the waiting room. I almost immediately met her. "Nurse! Is my Farmer all right? Was the surgery a success? How is he?" I swarmed her with concerned questions.

She put a hand on my shoulder. "Sweetie, Farmer's going to be just fine." She assured me, "The only reason that the operation took a little longer was because the cyst was in an odd place. Farmer should recover from the surgery and the liver infection in the next three weeks."

I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling weak in my knees. "If you'll come with me, I'll show you back to the room. He's still asleep from the anesthesia, but he should be waking up within the hour." The nurse added, motioning for me to follow her.

She showed me back to Farmer's room, where he laid in the bed, mask still covering his mouth and nose, and IV still dripping steadily. The nurse left to tend to other patients, and I sat in my usual seat next to Farmer. I moved the blankets to see Farmer's chest. There was a large bandage covering the lower half of his chest, right about where the ribs ended. I covered him up with the blanket again, and entwined our fingers. I rested my head next to his, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. It was about a half hour before Farmer started stirring. He groggily turned his head, looking at me in the eyes. He cracked a small smile. "Hey." He said hoarsely.

"Hi." I smiled, nudging him with my forehead a little. "Doctor said you should recover from the surgery and the infection in about three weeks."

He smiled a little and used his free hand to remove the oxygen mask and kiss me lightly. At that moment, Dr. Hawthoone entered the room. "Well, good to see you're awake," he said, adjusting his glasses. "How do you feel?"

Farmer rubbed his side with a grimace. "Pretty smurfed." He admitted.

The doctor chuckled a little in reply and scribbled on the papers in his hand. "It should improve in the next few days." He said, "we'd like to keep you here just about another week to give it some time to heal. After that you're free to go home."

Farmer nodded his head, smiling slightly. "Okai." He said.

Dr. Hawthoone left to go tend to his other patients. "Didja hear tha' Van'ty?" Farmer said, smiling widely, "Th' doctor says Ah kin go _home _in a week!"

I hugged him gently, careful not to accidentally elbow his injured side. "I heard him!" I said smiling as well, "I- I've never been so relieved in my life!"

Farmer kissed me on the forehead, giving me a light nuzzle. "Ah love you, Van'ty." He said softly.

"I love you too, Farmer." I said, sitting on the bed with him. "And I know we'll get through all this…_TOGETHER_…"

I stayed at the hospital again that night. The nurse didn't give him the sleep inducer because she said it conflicted with the pain medication Farmer took after the surgery. So Farmer and I couldn't fall asleep all night. His fever had come back with a vengeance, and his throat was so dry from coughing he could barely speak. He was shivering as though he was encased in ice. His complexion was so pale he didn't even look blue anymore. He shivered violently, and his sweat drenched the bed. I felt so useless, and nothing the doctors were helping The best I could do was sit next to the bed and hold his hand… praying that he would get some sleep and make it through the night. Time passed, and eventually the sun shone into the lonely room. I took notice of it, and chuckled a little, feeling incredibly tired. "Heh… good morning." I said to him groggily.

He smiled as best as he could. "G'mornin' shugah." He said, patting the bed next to him.

I laid on the bed and gently snuggled up to him. "I thought that night would _never_ end." I murmured, tracing the scar down Farmer's ribcage with my fingernail. "I never thought a night could be so _long_…"

"Ah know…" he said, yawning widely and then turning away to cough. "m'eyes feel so heavy…"

"I wonder when the others are coming back…?" I wondered, watching the sunrise.

"Ah dunno, shugah." Farmer said, also sounding worried, "Bu' Ah sure hope it's soon…_Ah cain't take many more nights like las' night_…"

My heart sunk a little, and I rested my head on Farmer's chest. He chuckled a little, making his chest vibrate. "What?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Nothin'," he said, looking away a little with a weak smile.

"Whaaat?" I asked, nudging his ribs playfully.

He giggled a little country giggle and hid his sides with his free hand. "Nothiiin'" he said, still smiling.

"Tell me!"

"Nooo,"

"Tell meee!" I whined a little, shaking his hands.

"Okay! Okay! Fine!" he said, pretending to sound defeated.

"Good! Now, what is it?" I said.

"You know wha' today is?" he asked, a small smile on his face.

I thought for a moment… Then I realized, and a smile spread wide across my face. "_Today's our anniversary_…" I said, nuzzling him softly. "_Forty years ago today_, you raised me up from the lowest point in my entire life…"

Farmer smiled and kissed me on the cheek. "Ah love you, shugah…" he said, "An' Ah always will."

I snuggled up to him, careful not to hurt his injured side. "I love you too, Farmer…" I murmured, "_My life is forever yours_."

He squeezed me and pressed his cheeks against mine. "An' _my life is forever yours_, _Van'ty_… It was _ALWAYS_ yours…" He kissed my cheek, "_An' it always will be_…"

I sighed a little and snuggled up on his chest. We stayed like that for awhile, his hand stroking my back, and his sweet voice whispering in my ear. He still had a fever, but not nearly as bad as last night. He was also still having coughing fits, worse than the last. Some time later, a doctor entered the room. "Ah, yes, the smurfs." He said, adjusting the thin-rimmed glasses that sat on his nose. "I'm here to change the dressing on the incision."

I shifted off the bed and sat on the chair. Farmer rolled on his side so the doctor could cut the bandages on his side. The bandages were stripped away, leaving a yellow-stained stitched incision, just underneath the curve of his ribcage. I winced a little, and averted my gaze. The doctor cleaned the wound with a yellowish antiseptic and wrapped his side in gauze. "Thank you doc," Farmer said, painfully turning back onto his back.

The doctor nodded and left the room to go tend to his other patients. Time passed, and Farmer's condition was deteriorating. His fever was worse than it had been before. He was shivering and quaking uncontrollably. "V-Van'ty…?" he rasped, looking for me with half open eyes.

"I'm right here, darling." I said, taking his hand.

"Van'ty… Wha'… Wha' d'you think-" he cut himself off with a powerful coughing fit.

I squeezed his hand and rubbed it with my thumb for a minute, waiting for his coughing fit to subside. "What do I think about what, Farmer?" I asked softly.

His coughing finally stopped, and took a deep breath. "Wha d'you think it's like…_ Up there…?" _he asked looking up at the ceiling.

It took me a minute to understand. But once I did, I squeezed his hand and shook my head. "Oh, Farmer…. Don't- Don't talk like that…" I said weakly. "You- you're gonna be okay…"

In a pained effort, Farmer tilted his head towards me. I could barely even recognize his bloodshot eyes. "Shugah…" he wheezed a little, "You know's well as Ah do Ah dun' got much time left…."

My eyes watered and I shook my head hard. "NO… D-d-don't talk like that! P-Papa smurf's on his way…." I said, "_you're gonna be okay_!"

I tried wiping my eyes, but tears still escaped them. I felt Farmer's hand on my cheek. His thumb wiped away my tears. "Shugah…" he half- whispered, "Ah- Ah love you… But… _Ah'm not gon' see our next an'versary_…"

"_NO_!" I almost shouted, "You're _NOT_ going to die! You're_ NOT_!"

I just about folded in on myself. "_Y- you're not….you're not…"_ I sobbed quietly.

Farmer put his weak hand on my shoulder. "Shugah… We don' have much choice in th' matter…" he said, trying to look me in the eyes. "You know Ah'll _always_ love you…An' you'll _always_ be in m' heart…"

I turned so that I faced him, and pressed the back of his hand to my cheek. "F-farmer… You sound as though you're saying _goodbye_…" I wept.

Cold realization hit me. "_Oh, Farmer_…"

I broke down on the bed, sobbing like a little smurfling. "Van'ty… Please don' cry…" Farmer said weakly, "Ah- _Ah dun like it when you cry_…"

He held me to his chest as best as he could. I sniveled like a little smurfling. Farmer yawned a big, loud yawn. "Shug… Ah'm real tired…" he said, closing his bloodshot eyes. "Ah think Ah wan' smurf a nap…"

I shot up from his chest. "NO!" I caught myself, "Err- Please don't… If you fall asleep I might loose you…"

Farmer chuckled a little "Shugah, You know Ah didn't smurf a wink'a sleep las' night…"he said, caressing my cheek. "You know how useless Ah am when Ah'm tired…"

"_But what if I loose you…?"_ I half- squeaked, feeling weak and hopeless.

Farmer thought for a moment. "Here… Lay on this side'a th' bed." He said, scooting over and patting the left side of the bed.

I walked around the foot and laid on the bed next to Farmer. He opened his arms and patted his chest. "Put your head right here."

I did as he instructed. His loud, reverberating heartbeat echoed in my ears. "Y'hear that?" Farmer asked, making his chest vibrate.

I nodded a little. "Who couldn't?" I asked, "You've got the smurfiest heartbeat in the village."

"Exactly," Farmer said, resting his arm around my shoulder. "Now'f you think tha' it's slowed down, or sped up, or anythin', anythin' at all… you can wake me up… Ah won' even be cross with y'…. Okai?"

"Okay… S-sleep well…" I said, "I- _I love you_…"

"Ah love you too shugah… Ah'll see y' in a lil' while…" he said, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Seeing as I didn't sleep last night either, I snuggled his chest and started to drift off to sleep as well. I had strange dreams. They involved things from my past… and every one of them involved Farmer…

_Like the time he cleaned me up when Tracker had bombarded me and Dreamy with mud when we were just smurflings…_

_And the time he comforted me when I had my heart broken by some other smurf I thought was like me… _

_And the time he saved me from Gargamel's alchemy recipe…. And nearly smurfed himself in the process…_

_And when he pulled me back on the bridge that night… When he saved me from myself and promised to remain by my side…_

_And that magic summer night in the forest…. The night he laid me down and taught me the true meaning of love…_

Too soon, my eyes fluttered open. Groggily, I realized something was wrong. I listened carefully. I didn't hear a single sound. "Farmer, honey?" I said groggily, shaking my sleeping companion. "Wake up…"

Farmer didn't stir when I prodded his ribs. "_F- Farmer_…?" I half- whispered.

A nurse entered the room, carrying a plate with Farmer's meal. She noticed my distress. Instinctively, she put the plate down on the tray and felt Farmer's neck for a pulse. She was silent for a moment, then unwrapped the stethoscope from around her neck. She pressed the circular object to his chest and moved it to different places. I remained perfectly silent, fearing the absolute worst. The nurse hurried out of the room, and soon returned with a doctor. He felt around Farmer's throat and listened to his unmoving chest.

The doctor shook his head sadly. "I'm calling it in…" he said despondently, checking his watch on the inside of his wrist. "_Time of death, 11:53 AM_…"

My heart wretched. Tears forced themselves from my eyes. I pulled Farmer's limp body close to mine and sobbed like there was no tomorrow_. There really wasn't without my Farmer… _At that moment, I heard the door open and five sets of footsteps get closer. I paid no attention to them, thinking they were more doctors. "Hi- ho, Smurfs away!" I heard a familiar, arrogant voice, "We found the cure!"

I looked up from my sorrows, only to see Papa, Tracker, Smurfette, Painter and Hefty standing at the foot of the bed, all holding small potted plants. I tore my gaze away from them and sobbed harder into Farmer's cold chest. "_F-Farmer…"_ I sobbed. "_H-he's gone…._"

I buried my head in Farmer's chest and took in his familiar scent. I felt someone pull me away. I fought back as hard as I could. "Vanity…" I heard the gentle voice of Papa smurf.

I turned my gaze from Farmer to Papa smurf. His eyes were full of tears as well. He angled my body so that I couldn't see Farmer, and pulled me into a tight, protective hug. I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed until I had run out of tears to cry. Papa smurf rubbed my back, trying to whisper words of comfort in my ear. I paid no attention. I kept trying to turn around and look at Farmer, hoping it was all just a terrible dream. Papa smurf kept his hand on the back of my head, and every time I'd try to look at Farmer, he would move my head so I was facing him again.

Eventually I had run out of tears to cry. I broke from Papa smurf's embrace, and sat down next to Farmer. He had lost all his color by now, looking pasty and pale. I took his cold hand and kissed it softly, using his knuckles to wipe my eyes. I leaned close to him, and gave him a kiss on the temple, like I had these last few nights. I took his straw hat from his head and held it close to my heart. _I wished I'd never have to do this…._ With shaky hands I took the corners of the white sheets he was lying underneath, and pulled them up past his head. _I can't believe he's really gone…_

The rest of the day passed painfully slowly. They took Farmer's body from the bed and brought it to the hospital morgue… Papa smurf spoke to the mortician about what we would be able to do about Farmer's body…

"We can't carry his body with us," Papa smurf said in a pained, grieving voice, "But it would be wrong to leave him here…"

"Perhaps it would be best to cremate him then…" the mortician offered, trying to sympathize with us, "but it would be a three- day wait."

I sat in the corner with Smurfette and Painter and hugged my arms numbly_. I'd rather be anywhere but here._ "I-it was our anniversary…" I said, hiding my face. "H-he was sposed to go home in a week…"

I started to utter dry sobs again. Painter put a comforting arm over my shoulder, and whispered comforting French words in my ear. "if that's the best we can do," Papa smurf sighed a little. "But we can't wait three days… I've been away from my smurfs longer than I said I would be already."

I sniffled a little, rocking myself back and forth slowly. "that is not a problem. We can send the urn by messenger hawk." The mortician said softly.

"Well… I suppose that is the best we really can do right now…" Papa smurf said shaking his head and looking at the floor.

He walked to the three of us, and knelt down in front of me. "Vanity…" he said softly.

I looked in his sad eyes, still wishing all this had just been some unsmurfy dream. "I think it's time we went home, my little smurf…"


	6. Betrayed

Ch6 Betrayed

The night was long and agonizing. I couldn't fall asleep without seeing Farmer's face… whatever sleep I did smurf wasn't very restful. I was tortured by terrible, unsmurfy night terrors. I'd wake up either screaming or in tears. Or a combination of the two.

It wasn't long before the others had finished preparing Feathers for the journey home. It's not surprising; it's pretty easy to get work done when nobody can find the words to say. The royal family saw us off. "Vanityyyyyy!" a little voice chimed loudly.

I forced myself to turn around. A little blur of black braids and taffeta dress barreled into me at full force. "I'll miss youu!" Micha giggled a little, hugging me tightly, "Promise me you'll come see me again!"

_Well… Eventually I'll have to come back anyways…_ "I will, Micha," I said, smiling weakly and returning the hug.

Papa smurf and the king conversed not far away. The king gave him a medium-sized parcel and shook his hand in condolence. Papa smurf accepted the package and wiped his eyes. "Vanity," he said, "It's time to go."

I took a deep breath and gave Micha a final squeeze. "Okay, Papa smurf…" I muttered.

I let go of the little child in my arms and started climbing up Feathers's wing. I half- heartedly secured myself, holding Farmer's straw hat close to my chest. There were no words to describe what I felt. The utter numbness I felt was only overshadowed by a feeling of desolation and hopelessness. I felt like a lingering spirit in some distant world. Like there was no light left in the world… like I was dead inside, instead of just dying physically…

That was my only condolence… that I wasn't too far behind… That even though he was dead… I'd get to smurf through the same hell he did… _I'd face retribution for killing him…_ "Papa smurf," Smurfette said, interrupting my thoughts, "What was it that the king gave you?"

Papa smurf studied the medium sized parcel in his hands and gave a little sigh. "Vaccinations…" he said, "Last night, their scientists developed a vaccination designed specifically for HIV and AIDS… He's given us enough for the whole village."

The other smurfs chirred a little in lackadaisical happiness. I hugged my arms a little in apathy. _I don't care if it means I'll never be able to give blood in an emergency. I don't care if it means I can never have another relationship like the one I had with Farmer. Even if it was "on accident", I killed Farmer… And I deserve to die like he did… _

The flight home went by fairly quickly. We got to the village, the normal activity slurring to a halt, and all the smurfs around the village crowded in the square. They muttered among themselves, obviously awaiting good news. Feathers landed and let us down from her back. Papa smurf stroked her neck and muttered softly. "Where's Farmer, Papa smurf?" Handy piped up from somewhere in the crowd. "I just finished smurfing his tractor."

I fought the dull ache in my insides and pushed my way through the crowd, staring at the ground. I let the tears fall from my face, not even bothering to wipe them away. I clutched Farmer's hat to my heart, my unsteady hands locked in a death grip. As I approached our-_my_ house, I heard little voices from behind it. They were coming from Farmer's garden. _How_ DARE _someone be in my lover's yard! How_ DARE _they be in his garden without his permission!_! Feeling an inexplicable anger in the pit of my stomach, I stormed around the house to the back yard, where Farmer's garden was. Playing and picking weeds, I saw Nat, Snappy, Slouchy and Sassette. Without a moment's hesitation, I ran towards them. They stopped their work and waved at me. "Hi, Vanity!" Sassette smiled, wiping her hands on her overalls.

"_What do you think you're doing out here?"_ I shouted at them, my temper boiling over like one of Greedy's pots.

Sassette looked at me with wide, shocked eyes. "I- I- Farmer told me to-" she stuttered. "Farmer told me to- to take care'a his flowers for'm til he got back-"

"_He's not coming back, Sassette. Farmer's NEVER coming back…_" I spat, hot tears escaping from my eyes. "Now _go…._"

Snappy looked at me disbelievingly. Slouchy had his little eyebrows furrowed and his lip upturned in a look of grief. Sassette wore a look of shock and heartbrokenness. Nat just stared wide eyed at the ground, numbly trying to comfort Sassette. Feeling guilty at seeing their shocked faces, I yelled at them more, **"**_**GET OUT!"**_

At first they didn't even budge, too shocked to move. I whirled around, looking for something to use to drive them out. I took a nearby watering hose, and turned on the cold water, pressing my thumb over it so it produced a steady stream. Right about then, they started running. I still turned the hose on them, making them yelp when the cold water drenched their clothes. Once they'd finally run off, I took a few deep breaths. _What on smurf came over me?_ I asked myself_. Farmer never minded them in his garden_…

I turned off the water and unlocked the door to let myself inside. The house looked just the same as when I'd left it… My tea kettle next to the stove… dishes in the sink… the bed in the other room still disheveled and unmade… Everything in the room reminded me of him… I sighed a little, and shuffled to the bed. I put Farmer's hat down on the bed frame, and pulled the quilt over my head.

I don't know why I crawled into bed. Despite having had horrible sleep for the past week, I wasn't tired. I snuggled against the blanket a little, wrapping myself in it. I heard a light knock at my door. It was Papa smurf, I was sure of it. He'd come to chastise me for smurfing the hose on the smurflings. "Vanity?" I heard a thick French accent call through the door. "You are in here, no?"

I untangled myself from the blanket and dragged myself up to answer the door. I opened the door and found Painter, leaning against the door frame wearing a concerned look. "_Bonjour_, Vanity," he said, "_Comment faites-vous_?"

"I've been better, Painter…" I sighed a little, hugging my arms. "I've _CERTAINLY_ been better…"

I invited him in, going into the kitchen. I took a wine glass from the cupboard. "Glass of wine, Painter?" I offered.

"Ah, no, thank you, _mon ami_." He said shaking his head "Ah do not drink."

"Suit yourself," I mumbled, uncorking a wine bottle and pouring myself a half glass.

He sat at the counter, crossing his leg over his knee. "So- eh… What's up?" I muttered, pasting on a false smile.

"Just eh—Checking in on you…" he said, looking to the side and adjusting his hat.

I smiled a little and took a long sip of wine. "I'm not gonna lie… It hurts…" I said, plainly. "_it hurts like no pain I've ever felt in my entire life…"_

I took a seat, then drank another long sip of wine. "My only condolence is that I'm not far behind…" I said, fighting tears.

Painter looked at me, fear and pain clouding his expression. He must have remembered what almost happened all those years ago. "Relax, Painter. I don't mean I'm gonna commit suicide," I said, dismissing his fears, "I meant with the whole, you know, _disease_ thing."

Painter breathed a sigh of relief, but then paused a moment. "Wait- what is it you mean, _mon ami_? Papa smurf, he has ze cure. You are smurfing zeet, no?"

I shook my head and took another long drink from my glass. "No…" I said, "It was _my_ fault Farmer died… It's only right I die the same way…"

Painter sighed a little, shaking his head. "Vanity…" he said quietly, "_Just because monsueir Farmair is dead, doesn't mean you are too…_"

He rested his head on his arms, taking deep, tired sounding breaths. I looked at my glass, and swirled the remaining sips of wine in the stemware. I finished it off, then took it to the sink so I could wash it. Among the other dishes in the sink, there was a drinking glass. I picked it up to wash it as well. There was something in the bottom of it. I froze. What I saw inside of it nearly made me drop the glass. _In the corner of the cup there was a little wad of chewed straw._ I broke down and cried right there in front of the sink. Painter came to where I'd collapsed, and knelt down with me. He spoke kind words, and gently pried the glass from my grip. "Vanity, perhaps it would be best if you stayed with me or Smurfette for a couple of days, no?" Painter suggested, "Ah- Ah have a new idea for a mastairpizza…"

I closed my tired eyes for a moment, taking one deep breath. "Maybe you're right, Painter." I muttered, "I- I can't be in this house without thinking of him…"

I went into the bedroom to get a clean change of clothes. Once I had what I needed for an overnight stay at my best friend's, I reemerged from the room. Painter smiled a little reassuringly. "Ready?"

I nodded. "Just hope I don't run into Papa smurf or the smurflings on the way over," I said with an awkward side look.

"Why?" Painter asked.

"I uh- Kinda sorta lashed out at the smurflings when I saw them in Farmer's garden, and tagged them with the hose…" I said, chuckling nervously.

Painter hid his eyes with his hand, and muttered under his breath. "Anyzing _ELSE_ Ah should smurf about?"

I laughed a little. "no… that's it." I said.

The two of us walked the short distance to Painter's studio. It was a bit more disheveled than the last time I was in there. He had many scrapped paintings in the corner, collecting dust. He had large wooden models posed in dynamic positions. He had a couple of pillows next to the window. Still feeling miserable and forlorn, I sort of plopped right down on one of the soft cushions and reclined. I looked out the window, feeling lost and insecure. "Ah_! Il est magnifique_ ! "Painter exclaimed, "Stay just like that!"

I didn't move from my spot, but watched out of the corner of my eye as Painter found a blank canvas and a charcoal pencil. He sat at an angle towards me, and started drawing like a smurf possessed. He'd pause every so often to look up from his work, or use his eraser to edit a minor detail. He had a very serious face whenever he worked on his art. Which made it all the more frightening when he would go into one of his bipolar rants. But today he seemed incredibly even-tempered, almost mellow. "Painter…?" I asked.

He made a little _mm-hmm_ noise in reply. "What do you think it's like….? To die, that is." I asked.

He stopped his scrawling for a moment and looked at me. I continued staring out the window, watching the clouds in the sky. "What kind of question ees zat, _mon ami_?"

I shrugged a little. "I'm just curious…"

Painter paused for the longest time, then continued scratching the charcoal lightly on the canvas. "Ah… Ah do not know, Vanity…" he admitted, "Ah do not think anysmurf does for sure. Othairwise, they would be dead themselves."

I nodded a little, resting my eyes. I tried to stifle a yawn. "Hey, Painter?" I asked, "Would you be terribly offended if I smurfed a little nap here? I haven't had a decent night's sleep in days…"

Painter shook his head. "Ah, no, Vanity. Smurf some rest." He said, using his thumb to smear some of the charcoal on his canvas. "But hold still, or Ah cannot smurf ze mastairpizza!"

I closed my eyes, and slowly let sleep overcome me. I still had dreams of Farmer, but they weren't nearly as crippling as the night before. Granted, they still made me scream and cry out for him, but not as much. Apparantly it was enough, because the next thing I knew, I was shooken awake by a concerned friend. "_Sacrebleu_! Vanity, wake up, _mon ami!_"

I jolted from my nightmare with a fast deep breath. I looked out the window, finding it darkening to a dusk. "How… How long was I out?" I asked, blinking my eyes a little.

"two houairs," he said, concerned, "it is almost suppairtime."

I stretched a little, still feeling tired. "Thanks for waking me." I muttered a little.

"_Oui._ But why were you screaming?" he asked.

I looked at the floor sheepishly. "I-I was having nightmares…" I said, trying to force the memories away, "I miss him, Painter… _I miss him more than I could ever smurf_…"

Tears I had been fighting started to trickle down my cheeks. Painter sat next to me and put a comforting arm around me. I wept quietly for a few minutes, still wishing I could just wake up from the nightmare in the real world. There was a light knock at the door. Painter looked up, then pat me on the shoulder before he went to answer it. Smurfette stood in the doorway, looking as sad and lonely as the rest of us. "Ah, Smurfette. Come in, come in," Painter said, ushering her in.

"Thank you, Painter," She smiled weakly, "How are you feeling, Vanity?"

"Alright, I guess…" I answered, picking at a fuzzy on one of the pillows. "Tired, more than anything I guess. Can't get any sleep."

She nodded her head and sat down with me. "It's dinnertime, if you're hungry," she said. "And Papa smurf wants to talk to you, too." She added.

I ducked my head slightly. "I see…" I said.

She moved my chin so she could look in my eyes. "He's offering counseling to anysmurf who needs it… Painter, Hefty and I… smurf, even Tracker… We think it'd be good for you if you talked to him about what happened…"

"'_What happened'_? I'll tell you what happened," I said, shimmying out of her embrace. "I _killed_ the only smurf in the world that loved me as much as I do… I _killed_ the one who pulled me from the lowest point in my entire life… I _killed_ the one smurf in the entire world that meant _everything_ to me…I _KILLED him, Smurfette_…."

"Vanity, _you_ didn't kill Farmer…" she said. "_AIDS killed Farmer_…you didn't know, and neither did anyone else…"

"But I knew! I _KNEW_ that something was wrong! If- If I'd had him see Papa smurf, or Homnibus sooner, then- then-" my voice caught in my throat. "_Maybe_ _I could've saved him…_"

Smurfette put her hand on my shoulder and angled me so that I faced her again. "Vanity, there was nothing that could've been done to save him." She said sadly, "Even if we _had_ taken him to the Miraguans sooner, and even smurfed the cure a day or two quicker, we still would've had to get the antidote made. By then, he still would've-" she paused, trying to find the words, ".. You know…"

I averted my gaze. "And thanks to our cooperation with the Miraguans, Farmer will be the last smurf to ever have to smurf through that." She said softly, "Surely, you can have some solace in that."

I shook my head. "H-he won't be the last, Smurfette." I said, forcing myself to look her in the eyes. _"I will_."

She had confusion in her eyes. "It's _my_ fault Farmer died the way he did." I said, turning away again. "But I'll go through the same purgatory he did if it means I'm punished for what I've done."

Painter and Smurfette shared a concerned glance and a silent pause. Before she could speak again, there was a loud knock at the door. Painter went to go answer it. Hefty stood in the doorway. "Hey guys… It's dinnertime." He said.

Painter nodded, then turned to Smurfette and I. "C'mon… it's time for dinner." She said, urging me up to my feet.

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled.

"I'm not asking." She replied.

They helped me to my feet and eased me out the door. "Hey, man." Hefty said, sounding sad. "How you holdin' up?"

I forced a small, obviously fake smile. "Fine," I lied, "You?"

He looked away, as if he didn't have a reply. Soon enough, we had reached the tables set up in the village square. We found seats and got ourselves some food. Papa smurf stood at the head of the table, ready to smurf his evening announcements. Once he'd noticed all the smurfs present and accounted for, he started to drone on about the abundance of smurfberries this year, and the upcoming harvest carnival, among other things. I barely even listened. It seemed like the others were only half-heartedly listening to him as well. "…And I'm sure you all recall from this morning," he said, "that Farmer smurf passed away yesterday afternoon…"

Most everyone bowed their heads or hid their faces with their hands. "b-but, I'd like you all to know that my laboratory doors are always open to anysmurf who needs a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on."

It looked like the majority of the smurfs present needed somesmurf to ease their grief. "And speaking of laboratory," Papa smurf added, "I'd like everysmurf to line up outside of my lab to be vaccinated."

Everysmurf present uttered a groan. "And don't even think about smurfing out," he added firmly. "I'm keeping a strict checklist on who did and didn't come; I will find out who skips out!"

Then I guess you'll find out about me sooner or later, I thought to myself with a scoff. I ate my food, faster than I thought I would. I guess I was hungry, I wondered. Feeling full, I took my plate to the tub up front, where Greedy was already washing dishes. "hey, Vanity." He said, taking my dishes. "Sorry about Farmer. We've lost one smurfofa smurf."

I nodded a little and mouthed a thank you. I started walking back to the table where Painter and Smurfette were still eating. "Hey…" I said, catching Painter's attention. "I'm just gonna smurf back to my house… I- I need to start going through some stuff…"

Painter swiveled a little on the bench. "You want one of us to smurf along, _mon ami_?" he asked.

I shook my head. "N-no… I'll be okay…"I said, hugging my arms a little. "I'll catch up with you guys later."

Hoping Papa smurf wouldn't see me and want to talk, I hurried back to my empty little bungalow. Once I got there, I locked myself inside. It was still as empty and as lonely as it was before… I gave a little sigh and shuffled back to the bedroom. Farmer's hat still laid on the bed frame. Just the sight of it made me want to cry. I picked it up and turned it over a little in my hands. It was a little rough to the touch, but it still had his earthy scent. I held it to my chest and breathed in his intoxicating scent. _Right about now he would've blown on the back of my neck,_ I reminisced, not bothering to suppress my tears. _Then I'd yell at him, say it drives me crazy… and he'd nudge me with his feet, and I'd swat at him… I miss him… I miss him SO much…_

I turned my head away from the straw hat, and saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. I looked like a hot mess, red cheeks, snively nose, red eyes… but what tore at me the most was the fact that I was staring at the smurf who'd killed my Farmer. I averted my gaze, only to find myself staring into another mirror. I looked away again, my eyes resting on another reflection. And _another_. And _another_. No matter where I looked I could find a reflection of myself. Farmer agreed on having lots of mirrors in the house, just because he knew they were my thing. I was so proud of my mirrors, as well as the reflections they showed. But today, it felt like all they did was mock me. _You killed him, Vanity. It was all your fault. You did this to him. You murdered the one you loved._ I could practically hear the malicious, mocking voices repeating themselves over and over in my head. _You did it. You killed him. You were his everything, and you killed him._ I couldn't fight it anymore. I ran into the kitchen and opened up a cabinet. From it I took a large metal spoon, and ran back to the bedroom.

Without a second thought, I raised the object in my hands and brought it down on the closest mirror, shattering the glass with a loud _kssssh_. One by one, each of them fell, until my hands were bloody from the flying shards and most every mirror in my bedroom was in pieces on the floor. I raised my hands again to destroy a larger one, and someone stopped me. "_Vanity! Calm down!_" I heard Papa smurf's familiar voice. "Let go of the spoon!"

I was deaf to his words. I brought the spoon back down on the glass, desecrating the speculum. I started sobbing, and fell to my knees. The spoon dropped from my hands, and I hugged my sides. Papa smurf stooped next to me, careful not to cut himself on the glass, and put a comforting arm around me. He moved my face so I was crying on his shoulder, and rubbed my back a little. "Vanity… it _wasn't_ your fault." He said softly. "And he's in a better place now… _he doesn't hurt anymore_…"

I kept sobbing, even as I spoke. "It's _MY _fault he's gone, Papa… If he'd never saved me that day, we would've never gotten together in the first place…"I whimpered. "Why didn't he just _let me die_…? Why didn't he just let me _end_ that nightmare…?"

"Farmer saved you because he _loves_ you," Papa smurf said softly, "and you gave him more love and happiness in forty years than most smurfs get in a lifetime. Do you know how _rare_ it is for a smurf to find true love, even if others don't agree with it?"

I sniveled a little, nodding my head. Papa smurf gave me a little squeeze. "I know you feel guilty about what happened," he said, "And how you hosed off the smurflings."

I rolled my eyes a little, embarrassed. "Don't worry about them; I'm sure if you apologize they'll forgive you." He said smiling a little bit. "But I want you to know this: _you are not at fault, Vanity. No matter how much it feels like it, you're not at fault._ And what's happened, has happened. No amount of tears or mirror- smashing can change that. _Farmer would want you to keep living your life, my little smurf."_

I nodded a little in reply, still crying on his shoulder. "Come, let's go fix up your hands." He said, easing to his feet.

He helped me up, careful not to touch the blood on my hands. He helped me walk to the lab, much to the confusion and concern of onlookers. Once we were in his lab, he pulled on a pair of gloves, and used metal tweezers to pick the shards of glass from my fingers and knuckles. Once all the glass shards had been removed, he gently swabbed my bloodied hands with a disinfectant solution. I winced a little at the stinging sensation. Once they were clean of blood and shards, Papa smurf spread a healing balm over my cut hands, and smurfed them in gauze. "Thank you, Papa…" I muttered, standing from my seat. "I'll get out of your beard."

I turned to go. "Wait," he said, "according to my list, you haven't gotten immunized yet."

Immediately, I felt tense. "It'll only take a minute. Might as well do it while you're here." He said, turning his back to get the vial from the carton.

I hightailed it right out of Papa smurf's lab, not even casting a second glance. I sprinted right back to my house, and locked myself in. I sat with my back against the door, hoping he wouldn't find me. _I don't care if it 'wasn't my fault'. I wanted to die the same way Farmer did. I wanted to suffer through the illness I smurfed him._ I stood up from where I sat, and slowly made my way back to the sink to finish washing dishes. Everything else in the sink I could wash with no problem. Just two wine glasses and a bowl I used to hold one of my beauty products. _But the glass with hay inside…. It would have to wait_… I left it on the counter, then got a broom and a dust pan to sweep up the broken glass in the bedroom. It didn't take me long to get all the glass from the bedroom. The harder part of the battle was finding a big enough trash bin to fit it all in. I was just finishing up when I heard a knock on my door.

I already knew who it was. I put the chain lock in the door, and opened it slowly. Through the gap in the door, I saw Papa smurf, along with Painter and Hefty. "Buddy, we can either do this the _easy_ way or the _hard _way." Hefty said, staring at me through the gap. "Either way, you're getting the cure."

I shook my head. "I don't _WANT_ to be cured." I said firmly.

I closed my door, holding the handle tightly so nosmurf could get in. "Please, _mon ami_!" Painter pleaded with me through the door. "You will get sick if you do not smurf zis cure!"

"I don't _CARE_…" I said, honestly, "_Just let me die the way Farmer did!_"

"Vanity, you got til _three_ t' let us in," Hefty's steady voice sounded through the door, "or else I'm coming in!"

I refused to let him in. _I don't WANT to smurf the cure,_ I thought. _Even if it means I can never give blood in an emergency. Even If it means I can never let myself fall in love again. I don't care… _

"ONE."

_I don't care…._

"TWO…"

_I don't CARE…._

"THREE"

_I DON'T CARE!_

The door seemed to shatter in front of me. I found myself being thrown backwards by the force of Hefty's charge. Before I could make a move, he tackled me to the ground, knocking the cap of my head with the force. We fought until he had me against the wall, still on the ground, and sat on the curve of my back. He folded my arms across my back so I couldn't move them. I fought back as best as I could, but Hefty was just too strong for me. "_PAINTER! Get him OFF!_!" I yelled for my friend while Papa smurf prepared the injection. "Help me!"

Painter backed away slightly with an apologetic look on his face. "Ah am sorry, _Mon ami_… But Ah cannot." He said, shaking his head and not looking me in the eyes. "_Zis vaccine, it is for your own good._"

In that moment, I felt more angry and betrayed than I ever had in my whole life. My 'best friend' _KNEW_ I didn't want to smurf the vaccination. And he knew exactly why. And yet, he had the grapes to come and watch as Papa smurf was about ready to smurf me the cure to a disease I _WANTED_ to die from! "Y-You _SMURFSTARD_!" I spat angrily, "You _TRAITOR_! You _BACK-SMURFER_! You- You- _FILS_ _D'UN SCHTROMPF!" _

I could tell my words stung him. He turned his back and buried his head in his hands, sadly. Papa smurf blocked my view of him, stooped down next to my shoulder. Even with Hefty on top of me, holding my arms, I squirmed and fought to avoid the needle. After a minute or two, Papa smurf shook his head. "He won't stay still." He muttered, thoughtfully. "It'll have to be smurfed in the hip."

I squirmed and fought like my life depened on it, yelling curses and profanities at Painter and Hefty, kicking with all my might. "_LET ME GO_!" I shouted.

"Vanity, this will go a lot faster if you just calmed down," He said, flicking the syringe calmly to clear it of air bubbles.

I felt him sit with his knee holding down my thighs, and his other knee against my right hip, holding it in place against the wall. He moved the waistband of my pants past my tail, then swabbed a spot on my left hip with a cold cotton fluff. I still shouted and fought, but Hefty and Papa smurf's knee held me fast. The needle pierced my skin, and I cursed and fumed, kicking, struggling, trying to do something, anything at all to get loose. "There. Done…" Papa smurf said, removing the needle from my skin. "You're _cured_, Vanity."

Papa smurf stood up, and Hefty followed suit. He let go of my arms and got off of my back. When my hands were free, I pulled up my pants and sat up, seething with anger. I pulled my knees to my chest and hid my face. "That wasn't so bad, now was it?" Hefty asked, oblivious to my anger.

"_The same way he died…."_ I murmured tears filling my eyes, "_I was gonna die the same way he died…_"

They looked at each other, confusion in their faces. "V-Vanity…" Painter said, stooping down beside me and putting a hand on my shoulder.

Angry beyond reasonable thinking, I shook his hand off my shoulder and stood up, making him fall backwards. "_Don't touch me, you smurfing traitor!"_ I snapped at him. "_You stabbed me in the back_!"

He recoiled in shock at my words, tears filling his eyes, "_If I never see you in my life again, it'd be TOO SOON._" I snarled at him menacingly.

He sniveled a little and hid his face. "Vanity, calm down," Papa smurf said putting his hand on my shoulder, "Painter was just trying to-"

"_Just trying to smurf my life_!" I snapped at him too, making him retract his hand. "_He_ KNEW _exactly why I didn't want to get this smurf vaccination, yet he deliberately smurfed me out!_"

I stepped around him, storming towards the door, "Smurf you," I yelled at Painter, tears streaming down my cheeks, "_Smurf all three of you!_!"

I slammed the door behind me, running out of the village. I felt so _betrayed_. So _angry_. So _hurt_. I wished that Farmer was alive. I wished he could tell me everything would be okay. _I wished that he'd never saved me that day, and that I could've just drowned in the river..._

I absentmindedly walked past his fields, remembering all the times I'd seen him hard at work. I shook the memories, and kept walking, quickening my pace. It wasn't long before I reached the bridge. I slowed down and ran my hand over the impressive work. I stopped in the center. Distractedly, I swung my leg over the railing. Gripping the railing, my other leg followed suit. I looked behind me at the swollen river. It was higher because of all the rain last season. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. _Exactly the same as that night._ I thought. _But tonight, Farmer won't be able to save me…_

_Goodbye… I'll see you soon, Farmer._

I gripped the railing of the bridge, my knuckles locked in a death grip. _Come on_, I willed my hands, _LET GO_…

My hands shook and shook, but refused to release. I bent down, still gripping the railing, and cried. I couldn't do it. Not after what I promised to Farmer… I stood up and stepped back over the railing. I sat down and swung my legs over the edge. I rested my head on the railing. I reminisced about that night, all those years ago… The moon was so bright… It looked so smurfy against Farmer's skin… Farmer… Dear God, I missed Farmer… I missed him more than I could ever put into words… what solace could I take now that I wouldn't die the way he did? That I likely had a couple hundred more years in me, whereas Farmer's life was only 230 years long? It felt so wrong… I wished with all my heart he was still alive…

I gave a little sigh and pulled myself up from where I sat. It was getting late, I was tired. I walked back to the village, hoping I wouldn't run into Hefty or Papa smurf. Luckily, I didn't, and I reached my house without major incident. Once I reached my house, I went right to the bedroom, and crawled under the sheets. I didn't even bother changing into a night gown. I just crawled underneath the covers and fell fast asleep. For once in what seemed like years, I slept without bad dreams, or anything like that.

I woke up without the alarm. I felt my waist, absentmindedly feeling around for my sleeping partner. Then I remembered… He wasn't coming back… I'd never feel his arms around me again… I cried a little remembering. Hearing Greedy's triangle over on the other side of the village, I quickly changed out of my dirty pants and took a clean hat. I walked among the other smurfs, still feeling the pain of loosing Farmer deep in my belly. I saw Painter drudging along, looking more down-hearted and sad than I've seen him in a long time… but I still felt mad at him. He betrayed my trust. He ratted me out to Papa smurf. I couldn't just forgive him so quickly. The two of us sat on opposite sides of the table. Smurfette sat sort of catty-corner to both of us, confused at my resentment and Painter's depression. I felt somesmurf tap me on my shoulder. I looked up to see Papa smurf. "Vanity, may I have a word with you?" He asked, sounding concerned.

I nodded a little, and stood from my seat. I cast an angry glance at Painter, who averted his gaze. I followed Papa smurf back to his lab, where we could talk in confidence. "I received a package from the Miraguans this morning." He said, "I didn't want to open it until you were here…"

I nodded my head, already knowing what it was. I used a nearby letter opener to cut the brown paper packaging on the box. Once all the paper was cut away, Papa smurf and I unfolded the box itself. Inside, there was a small, earthy- colored urn, a folded note, and a small box. Papa smurf took the note and unfolded it.

"Dear Papa smurf,

Here are Farmer's ashes, as promised. We in Miragua weep for your loss; though I did not know him well personally, he seemed like a remarkable young fellow. The world needs more like him.

Signed, King Ric'alla" Papa smurf read the letter aloud.

I took the small box and opened it. I had already been fighting my eyes to stop watering, but once I saw the contents of the box, I started bawling. Inside the box was Farmer's ring. The one I gave him when he gave me mine… _My life is forever yours…. And you are mine… _

I felt Papa smurf's hand on my shoulder. "It's all right, my little smurf." He muttered. "it's all right."

I wiped my eyes a little, then felt the urn. It was cold, and almost rough to the touch. I could barely believe Farmer was inside… "Vanity…. I know you're hurting right now," Papa smurf said gently, "But we have to finish planning the funeral…"

The tears I wiped away were replaced by new ones. "I- I know, Papa." I said softly, "But- I just cant... It was my fault… I can't get over it…"

"Vanity, if we've said it once, we've all said it a hundred times, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know, and you had no way of knowing." Papa smurf said, forcing me to look in his concerned eyes. "And if Farmer WAS here, he'd want you to live your life… he would've wanted you to get that vaccination… he would've wanted you to live your life for him… can you tell me different?"

I shook my head a little. "But… How will I keep living now that he's gone…?" I asked, staring sadly at the urn.

Papa smurf pulled me into one of his protective embraces and gave a little sigh. "I'll tell you right now, it's _hard_ living on without someone you love." He said, "There are days when you just want to give up living and join them, wherever they are. Living on, it… it just feels _impossible_."

He pulled a little bit out of the hug and looked me deep in the eyes. "But, when you're surrounded by friends that love and care about you, _nothing_ is impossible." He said firmly.

I nodded a little, hugging him again. "Thank you for all your help, Papa smurf…" I muttered softly, "And I'm sorry about what I said yesterday."

He shrugged a little, pulling out of the hug. "You were angry, I don't blame you," he said, turning to the urn. "But I think you ought to talk to Painter about it too."

I looked away a little, still feeling mad. "I know you're still upset that he told me where you were," he said, feeling the clay urn in his hand, "But he only did it because he was worried about you. He's your best friend… he told Hefty and I afterwords that he felt _terrible_ about it… it would mean the world to him if you at least talked to him about it."

I nodded my head. "I will… after we're done here…"

He nodded in reply. For a couple of what felt like days, Papa smurf and I planned Farmer's funeral. We set the date for tomorrow night, in the village square. Still feeling lost, I left Papa smurf's lab and started for home. I had slipped Farmer's ring on next to mine, even though it was a bit too big. I passed by Painter's studio, not hearing anything coming from the usually bustling little apartment. I decided to drop by, maybe actually follow through on my promise to Papa smurf. I knocked on the door. "Coming," I heard his familiar voice from inside.

He opened the door, paintbrush in hand. His face twisted in regret as he leaned on the edge of the doorway. "Ah… Vanity…" he said, half heartedly.

I cracked a small smile. "Hey, Painter. Mind if I came in?"

He shrugged slightly, waving his hand as a gesture of welcoming. He went to a bleary canvas and started painting. "So, eh, what can I do for you _mon am_-" he caught himself, "Vanity…?"

I shrugged my shoulders a little. "Not much, Painter." I said, taking a seat nearby him. "I just…. Wanted to apologize for all those things I said…"

Painter stopped painting for a minute. "I- I know you were just trying to help me," I said, "And I took my guilt out on you… _I'm sorry_…"

He bowed his head a little, then went back to his painting. "I just… I feel so lost, Painter…" I admitted, "Farmer was a huge part of my life for forty years… now, not having him… because of some disease I gave him… It just…. It feels so _wrong_…"

I could feel my heart break in my chest. "I know I probably don't deserve it," I admitted, "but I'd really like to have you as my friend again… I'm sorry for yelling at you, and saying all those mean things…"

Painter stopped painting for a minute and swiveled in his stool. "Vanity, you have always been mai best friend." He said, looking at the ground. "When you told me you did not care if you died a slow, painful death…." He closed his eyes and bit his lip. "It _scared_ me, _mon ami_. Ah've nevair been so scared in my life. Ah thought you were going to try to kill yourself again…"

"I _did_ try, Painter…" I admitted weakly, looking at one of the wooden models, then holding it in my hands. "I was standing up by the bridge again, ready to jump…"

Painter winced and ducked his head. "But I remembered the promise I made… to you, to Farmer, to Papa, to _myself_…" I said, looking away, putting the model in my hands into a new position, "And I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just _couldn't_…."

Painter drew a jagged breath. "_Mon ami_, to think that Ah may have lost-or _will lose_—mai best friend, it is terrible thought…" he admitted, "you have so much life ahead of you…what on smurf would make you make the call that _no life at all_ is better than your life now?"

I looked at the ground sadly. "I just… I miss him so much, Painter…" I confessed, "he could break down all the walls I put up… he made me smile… I- I- I can barely imagine life _without _him…"

"Ah, _oui_, but now you must." Painter said reassuringly, "But you will have friends like Smurfette and I. we will help you through it."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks, Painter… you're a true friend."

"Ah, anytime,_ mon ami_." He said, approaching me and giving me a great big bear hug.

While I still felt responsible for Farmer's death….I was happy I had made peace with my friend.


	7. Ashes

Ch7 Ashes

Trying to sleep that night felt like a futile effort. No matter how much I tried to fall asleep, I laid awake, tossing and turning. A thunderstorm had started outside. Lightning lit up the room occasionally. The thunder shook my small house, making me huddle in the bed, feeling cold and frightened. I hated thunderstorms. Especially when they were this close. I wished I could reach out and pull Farmer's arms around me. I wished I could cuddle up against his chest and feel his hands over my ears. I wished with all my heart I could see him one last time and hear his sweet voice...

Soon enough, the long, loud night faded into the peaceful day. I didn't need the alarm to wake up. Papa smurf said we all had a day off from chores because of the funeral. I heaved a heavy sigh and rolled over. My hands wandered to Farmer's pillow. Once I had it in my reach I pulled it close to me. It was a much firmer pillow than mine. He swore up and down it helped his sore neck.

I pressed my nose to the pillow. It smelled just like him-hay mixed with fresh grass and soil... I uttered a little sigh. _I missed him..._ I heard a loud knock at my front door. I slumped out of bed, pulling my fluffy robe around me and tying it. "I'm coming..." I muttered to my visitor.

Standing in my doorway was Papa smurf. He was dressed in all black. "Good morning, Vanity," he said with a small smile," I was just coming over to check on you."

I invited him in and went to make tea. "Tea, Papa smurf?" I asked as he sat down at the table.

"Yes please," he replied.

I got two mugs from the cupboard and put the kettle on the stove. "How are you this morning, Vanity?" he asked.

I stopped spooning out tea grounds and stared at the wall a minute. "Not too smurfy," I admitted, "To be honest, I don't even know _how _I'm gonna make it through the funeral today."

I leaned against the counter and rubbed my temples with my thumb and forefingers. I gave a heavy sigh, closing my eyes and thinking of Farmer. The whistle of the tea kettle interrupted my thoughts, and I poured hot water into the two cups. After straining the tea grounds, I brought one cup to Papa smurf. He thanked me and took a long sip. "You're not alone, my little smurf." He said, "Everysmurf feels the loss. Just last night Sassette woke me up crying because she had a dream about Farmer."

I nodded a little. "Sassette... She must be feeling as down as I do right now," I thought out loud, "Poor girl... She's barely even old enough to understand death, yet she loses someone so _close_ to her…? It's so _wrong_..."

Papa smurf nodded sadly, taking another drink from his mug. "Sometimes somesmurfs just find out from a young age, my little smurf." he said, "but she'll get through it. She always does."

I nodded and swirled my mug a little. I took a drink, barely burning my tongue. "So, it seems you've made up with Painter," he said, changing the subject.

I cracked a little smile in reply. "Yeah," I said. "I guess I gave him a pretty bad scare..."

Papa smurf nodded a little."Indeed. He came to me yesterday in tears, saying how worried he was for you." he said, taking a drink from his mug, "he's _still_ haunted by what almost happened by the bridge that day, you know. He won't admit it because of his pride, but he is. He's still scared someday you might try and take your own life again."

"I _did_ try, Papa smurf..." I admitted sadly, "After you gave me the cure, I went down to the bridge, completely ready to jump. B-but I couldn't do it... I just _couldn't_... I couldn't break the promises I made that day..."

I awkwardly swirled the contents of my cup in my palm and took a drink. "I'm glad to know you realized the repercussions of your actions before they happened and saw that _felo-de-se_ isn't the answer." he said, sadly taking another drink of tea.

I nodded a little and took a long sip of tea. Once Papa smurf had finished, he stood and took his cup to the sink. He saw the glass with the straw wad in the bottom. He bit his lip a little and gave a tiny sigh. "Farmer's glass?" he asked plainly.

There was a big lump in my throat. I nodded a little in reply, trying to keep from crying. Papa smurf sighed a little again, then wrapped me in his arms. "I know... _It's hard right now_." he said softly, his voice breaking. "But someday you will be able to move on. _I promise_."

I hugged him a little tighter and buried my face in his coat. He left soon after, and I returned to my bedroom. While the mirror on my vanity was still mostly shattered, it was still salvageable. I sat down in front and started with my skin care regimen. Once I looked like my normal smurfy self again, I made my way to the dresser. I opened the top drawer, and started looking for my formal dress pants. Once I found them, I put them on, then smurfed on a belt so they wouldn't fall down. Using my vanity mirror, I tied my tie.

I heard a light knock at the door. I didn't feel ready. Smurf, how does _anyone_ feel ready to go to their soulmate's funeral? I got my coat and the note cards I wrote his eulogy on. I stuffed them in my coat pocket and bravely opened the door. In the doorway stood Painter and Smurfette, with Baby balanced on her hip. They both wore a solemn expression and the traditional black funeral attire. "Ready?" Smurfette asked.

I shook my head a little. "Not really," I admitted, "But then again who would be?"

They walked with me to the village square, where there were chairs lined up to the Speaking Shroom. A little table sat next to the mushroom with a big book of pictures and tall white candles. Farmer's urn sat in the middle, a candle on either side. Smurfette, Painter and I took a seat near the front. I couldn't take my eyes off the little table. _I can't believe he's really gone..._.

After a few minutes Papa smurf climbed up onto the pedestal and addressed the rest of us. "We are gathered here today to honor the life of Farmer smurf..." some of the smurfs in the crowd hid their heads and wept at the mere mention of his name. "A _friend_... A _provider._... A _lover..."_

I closed my eyes and tried to keep my breath even. "He offered help to all those who asked... He kept us sustained in the long winter months with his vegetables and green thumb with smurfberry bushes." he continued, "loved by many, remembered by all... Farmer smurf will hold a place of honor in all of our hearts, and in the hearts of the younger generations as well."

Sassette, who sat on the ground in front of me with Nat, Snappy, and Slouchy around her, started crying. Nat took her hand reassuringly and spoke kind words in her ear. "Anyone who'd like to say anything about Farmer is more than welcome to do so." Papa smurf concluded, wiping his eyes.

The crowd was silent for a few moments. Brainy stood up from the third row and made his way to the front. _I swear, if he's going to give us another one of his egomaniac speeches, I'll- _"Farmer smurf took me under his wing when I was just a smurfling," Brainy said, shuffling his feet a little, "He took _everyone_ under his wing. He always made sure everyone was feeling smurfy. And he did what he could to help us when one of us wasn't when Papa wasn't around... Even when I drove him smurfy with all my advice."

He paused to take a deep breath. "We will _all_ miss him..." he said, "and anyone who says they won't is _lying._"

I silently thanked Brainy for not turning the moment into one of his self-important little diatribes. More silence in the crowd. Sassette and the smurflings fidgeted a little. Sassette turned to Nat and whispered something in his ear. He nodded a little and nudged his friends. They stood and made their way to the Speaking Shroom. Sassette took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She reached into her pocket and took out a folded piece of paper. "I-I-I wrote Farmer a letter... I-I thought it would be easier for him to hear..." she stuttered a little.

My heart sank a little looking at this little child all shaken up. She unfolded the note and read out loud, so everyone could hear.

"_D-dear Farmer,  
>I'll never understand why you got so sick... I'll never understand why I couldn't go to that doctor place with you... An' I'll never ever understand why I never got to say goodbye... B-but-" <em>she started sobbing.

Papa started to approach the crying child, but the smurflings beat him to the punch. Nat squeezed her hand and Slouchy gave her a little side-hug. Snappy stood behind her and whispered in her ear. She sniffed loudly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

_"...B-but I know that you loved everysmurf here... An' that you wouldn't want us all t' be sad... B-but it is so scary, Farmer. I wish you could make these bad dreams go away. I wish you could hug me an' tell me you love me, an' take me t'go get cookies when I'd sad... I wish I could ask you why you had to leave me so soon... I wish I could see you one more time... Even if it isn't very long... I-I-I wish you didn't-"_ her little voice caught in her throat and she fell to her knees on the Speaking Shroom sobs overtaking her little body.

The three smurflings sat with her and tried to help calm her down. Papa smurf spoke soft words to her from below the pedestal. She nodded her head a little, then gave him the paper. Papa smurf turned back around and sadly read the rest of the letter.

_"I wish you didn't have to die... You were my best friend... You were my secret-keeper... You were my tear-drier... I love you, Farmer... I'll miss you more than I can say in some dumb letter... I hope you like it wherever you are... Pappy always says that good smurfs get to go to Paradise and grow wings and get to be angels who watch over the village... I don't know where you'll go... You were already an angel in my eyes.-"_ now Papa smurf had to pause and wipe his tears.

_"But wherever you went, I hope you like it. And I hope there's no rutabaga. And I know they'll love you there just like how we all love you here. I'll see you again, but until then, I love you, goodbye. Love, your girl."_

There wasn't a dry eye in the crowd. The smurflings helped the teary-eyed Sassette back to the place they'd been sitting. I put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. She stood up and gave me the biggest hug her small stature allowed. I whispered a little thank you in her ear, and she buried her face in my coat, sobbing quietly. I smoothed her fiery red hair back behind her ear and kissed her on the temple, unsuccessfully trying to blink away more tears.

A few more silent moments passed. Finally, I stood. I walked the short distance to the Speaking Shroom. I took a deep breath and took my note cards from my pocket. "I-I'm not really sure I can follow that," I said, referring to Sassette and her letter.

The others chuckled a low laugh. "Farmer smurf was my _soulmate_." I said plainly, "he saved me from the lowest time in my life... He held me when I was sad, or scared. And he _always_ protected me..."

Tears blurred my vision. "I-I always asked him what he would do without me..." I squeaked a little, "but what I never wanted to ask myself was _what would I do without you..._"

My voice caught in my throat. "And-and now that I have to ask myself that, I can't do it without... Without crying, without wishing with all my heart it was _me_, not _him_..." my voice wavered a bit.

"Not a single day has gone by yet when I don't ask why it was me who lived... It- it was _my _fault... _I_ gave him the disease that killed him..." I jammed my eyes shut, sobbing profusely.

"It's a new disease, and until Papa, Hefty, Painter and Smurfette went on their quest there was no cure to it." I said sadly, closing my eyes, "he fought as hard as he could against it..."

My voice caught in my throat for a moment. "B-but in the end... He lost the battle..." I spoke sadly, _"he died right there in my arms..."_

I wiped my eyes a bit, the tears spilling over my eyelashes."I-I-I miss him... I miss him more than I could ever say..."I admitted, "a-and it feels like a Hell on earth without him by my side... B-but everysmurf here knows as well as I do that he wouldn't want us to feel sad, or sorry for him... He-he was in _pain_ before he died... He was tired, his throat hurt from coughing so much, he always felt cold, even with such a high fever... He- _he was in pain..._."

I had to pause and take a deep breath. "I'm sad he's gone... No, I'm _devastated_ he's gone... It's hard for me to stand here and smurf him a eulogy and not start bawling. If you look in my house, everything's _exactly_ the way he left it... I even still have a glass he used still in the sink." I admitted, my knees knocking a little. "But one thing I am not, nor will I ever be sad about is that he isn't in any pain anymore. A-and that I will see him again someday... We all die... Some sooner than others... But I see him _everywhere_... In the _clouds_... In my _dreams_... And _in the hearts of everysmurf_... Yes... Farmer's gone to Paradise, or wherever we smurfs go when we die... But as long as we keep him close to our hearts, Farmer and his memory will never, _ever_ be gone."

I tried to get a grip of myself and looked at Papa smurf. He nodded a little, then went to the piano that was set up nearby. "Wh-when we all were taken to Paris by that time crystals ordeal, Farmer and I had just recently gotten together…" I said, remembering the days, "A-and one day, when we were walking together, we heard two humans singing this song…. A-and from that moment on… that was _our_ song… we would sing it to eachother whenever we wanted to express our love in secrecy…"

A couple smurfs in the crowd aww-ed. "We hadn't sung it to eachother in a few years…" I admitted, "But it seemed right to sing it here and now…"

Papa smurf started playing the piano slowly. I fought the tears and icy nervousness in my gut, and sang out loud for all to hear.

"_Never knew I could feel like this  
>Like I've never seen the sky before<br>I want to vanish inside your kiss  
>Seasons may change, winter to spring<em>" 

My voice broke a little, and I drew a jagged breath. I jammed my eyes shut, seeing his lovely face in my mind. I opened my mouth and half-whispered the next lines.

"_But I Love You, until the end of time_

_Come what may  
>Come what may<br>I will Love You  
>Until my dying day"<br>_

My voice started gaining a little more power as the vision of Farmer in my mind smiled and waved. I smiled a bit back, trying to keep tears from rolling down my cheeks.

_"Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place  
>Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace<br>Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste  
>It all revolves around you<em>

_And there's no mountain too high  
>No river too wide<br>Sing out this song,  
>I'll be there by your side<em>

_Storm clouds may gather  
>And stars may collide<br>But I Love You, I Love You,  
>Until the end of time"<br>_

I sang out as loud and as powerfully as I could, letting the lyrics ring true and resonate with my friends and family in the crowd.

_"Come what may, come what may, I will Love You  
>I will Love You, Come what may, Yes, I will Love You<br>Come what may, I will Love You, Til my dying day" _

I stepped down from the pedestal, wiping my eyes, and walking to the table. I looked at the framed picture propped up next to the urn. He looked happy and vibrant, not at all like when he was sick. I kissed my fingers, then pressed it to his face in the picture. _"I love you, Farmer... I'll never forget you..."_ I half whispered.

I returned to my seat, feeling a weight somewhat lifted from my shoulders. Papa smurf concluded the funeral with a prayer. I stood next to him and held little Sassette's hand as the other smurfs lined up for their obligatory condolences. One by one, they filed through with handshakes, quiet apologies and gentle condolences. I was sure everyone had already filed through and gone to consume the reception feast Greedy prepared. But then, _Tracker smurf approached me_.

He tried to get me to look in his eyes. I refused, instead looking in away from him entirely. "Vanity..." he said, sounding weak and shaken up, _"I want to talk to you."_

_"Smurf off."_ I spat angrily.

"Please... _I want to apologize_..." he pleaded.

A bit surprised, I turned to face him, trying to muster as much anger and hatred in my eyes as I possibly could. He shifted a little uncomfortably under my gaze. "I- I don't even know where to start..." he muttered a little, "I'm sorry for all the unsmurfy things Camper and I put you through over all these years..."

He averted his eyes a little. "...You really think that I'm going to forgive you, just like that?" I asked coldly, "I never even forgave Camper... You two smurfed me through HELL."

I looked at the confused little Sassette next to me, then covered her ears. _"I tried to kill myself because I was so scared you were going to murder me... If it wasn't for Farmer I would've died forty years ago."  
><em>  
>I uncovered Sassette's ears. "For you to think that you could just smurf over to me and apologize, then expect me to forgive you as if nothing happened... It's <em>insulting<em>. To _you,_ to _Farmer_, to _me... NO_. I _don't_ forgive you, Tracker." I spat.

He recoiled a little at my answer. "I-I see... He said, his voice quavering a little, "I'm truly sorry you feel that way..."

I turned my face back towards him."If you're so _'truly sorry'_ then why on smurf did you torture me so much in the first place!" I half yelled.

"I-I don't know!" he shouted back, wiping away tears. "I-I guess I was jealous..."

"Jealous?" I asked, "of what, exactly? The fact I'm a _'worthless little ladysmurf who doesn't deserve to live'?_"

"NO...no... I- I guess I was angry at first that you were so different from everybody... That you had the grapes to do some of the things you did, wear some of the things you wore... So, I singled you out and thought that making you hate yourself, maybe I'd actually feel important in some way... And I won't lie, it _worked_. It's one smurfofa power trip..."

He paused for a minute. Papa smurf took Sassette and went to Greedy's mess hall. "And then when everysmurf found out about you and Farmer, I hated you more because you found love and I couldn't. I just... I wanted you to just- _die_..." he admitted, looking away, shame etched in his face, "b-but when Cam started dying, you made it so he wasn't alone... You even tried to bring him back, even after all the hell we put you through... It-it made me see that I'd misjudged you, and that maybe there were really reasons why Farmer and all your friends love you so much... I regret every mistreatment I smurfed on you. I- I really don't blame your hatred for me... But I just wanted you to know I really _am_ sorry and that if I could I would take _every minute of it_ back."

He wiped his face, then started walking away. "Wait," I said softly, "Don't go..."

He turned around to face me."You _hurt _me, Tracker... You made my life full of fear, and you made me hate who I am and feel lower than _dirt_." I said plainly, "I don't know if I'll _ever _be able to forgive you completely."

He looked down, ashamed. "But," I added "I suppose one has to start somewhere.….. I accept your apology, Tracker..."

He smiled a little, and shook my hand. "You have _no idea_ how much this means to me." he said.

I nodded my head a little. He let go of my hand and started walking to Greedy's mess hall. I took the urn from the table and started walking back towards the house. I opened the door, placing the urn on the mantle. I went to go heat up water for tea. As I filled the kettle with water, I noticed the glass with straw in the bottom. What I did next surprised even myself.

_I took the cup in my hand, filled it with water, sloshed it around a little, then dumped the water down the drain and washed it out with a sudsy sponge. Then I used a towel to dry it off, and put the glass up in the cupboard with all the others._

I put the kettle in the sink and dried off my hands. Then I went back to the mantle and lifted the urn from its place. I wandered around to the backyard, to where Farmer's garden was in full bloom for the summer. I hugged the clay urn to my chest, fighting tears. _"H-hey, honey."_ I said softly. "It's me... Vanity..."

I fought more and more tears. "Th-things are really quiet without you around... We all miss you so much..." tears trickled down my cheek. "B-but I'm not sad knowing where you are, and knowing you're not in any more pain. I probably won't be joining you as quick as I thought, or the way I thought... But I'll see you every night in my dreams..."

I fiddled with the cap on the urn, twisting it off, revealing the soft gray ashes. _"I've- I've got to let you go, darling..."_ I whispered softly, taking a handful of ashes.

I gently tossed the ashes, letting them spread over his beloved flowers. "I know how much you loved your garden," I whispered, "and I know you wouldn't want to smurf eternity in a jar..."

I took more handfuls and spread them out over his blossoming flowers. I emptied the urn, then used my clean hand to wipe the tears from my face. _"I love you, Farmer. And I always will._" I showed the plants the rings on my finger, _"My life is forever yours... And you are mine."_


End file.
